Feeling numb

I'm feeling so lost right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I try making more friends and see if i'm ready to experiment with other girls, then i chicken out or back up and tell myself i'm not ready. I really just wish i could talk to my mom or a friend about this. But i don't want people to see me differently. I need to come to the full conclusion that i'm bi or gay on my own first and then come out to my friends and family. I'm just so scared. It's so much easier just fantasizing and imagining what it would be like instead of actually going out there and doing something about it. I keep getting so frustrated with myself because i WANT to be brave, take a chance and put myself out there, but don't know how i would even go about it. Do i go to a gay bar (alone of course cause no one knows) and try to meet ppl, and if i meet someone i'm interested in do i tell them i'm bi/gay/questioning? I heard that a lot of lesbians don't like bisexual girls because they think we're just 'sitting on the fence" and are getting the privileges of fitting in with society being with a guy (heteronormativity) and only being with a girl when we 'feel' like it. I don't know are they right? Am i just thinking about being with another girl in a dark club (there's no way i could bring her back to my place when my roommates have no idea and may feel pretty uncomfortable... if i do come out to my roommates will they still want to live with me??) Too many fucking questions i don't have the answers to. I just moved to a new city and feel pretty alone and excluded from the rest of my uni department because i'm so shy and have so much going on inside my head. I need to talk to someone about this, but don't think my counselor understands because she has never gone through this. How do i find someone who can help me? i just need to go to sleep and wake up with all my problems gone... if only that were possible :S

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

There unfortunately isn\'t a way to face these problems except by facing them. Sounds simple, I know but that\'s the only way. We all have to go through a re-evaluation of ourselves once we discover our bi-natures. Everyone, regardless of their sexuality, has to come to terms with it and face it and then go on to negotiate the realm of relationships without a guide book. I know its scary but its just a part of life and growing up HUG
Not sure what you should do, but if it were me I would at least tell my roommates I\'m bi so I could have a gf or a bf over at some point. If these are new people in a new town then at least if they do react badly they can\'t tell your family... Also, instead of a bar where you only meet a certain kind of person, try an online dating site geared towards gays or bisexuals. There are even ones that are for everyone--gay, straight, or bi. Try one or a bunch of those and make a friendship through letters and chatting before trying anything. That way you have time to come to terms with your feelings and someone else gets the heads-up that you might not be in it for the long run, but just to experiment.
You\'re going to be okay and in time it\'ll make more sense and feel more natural I promise!
Good luck!
JulieMac21
JulieMac21

Hey thanks i really appreciate all your advice :)