Feeling mentally off (Warning: Rambling, Semi-sensitive Content)

This is gonna sound like a bunch of random rambling but I guess I need some way to get it out, so I'll do so here.

I feel like I've been having an ongoing panic attack for almost 3 days so far and I have nothing to take for it to stop. I can't sleep because whenever I doze off, my panic attacks wake me up every 30 mins to 1 hr. I feel like an animal in a cage that's been set on fire. There's no peace. I question my own medication now. I have had voices tell me to stop taking them becuase they don't work/making me feel worse but I try my best not to listen to them. I try to practice proper discernment, I really try. I feel like crying every minute and I can'tn put my finger on why. I feel like I'm in a place where I'm not supposed to be, but then no place feels right to me anymore. Is this what losing touch with reality feels like? I'm confused and everything hurts. I'm always scared and worried; I feel alone even when I'm around people.

It seems like I feel like how I felt before I went to the psych hospital last. I constantly feel like I can't breathe, that everything is my fault, and that everything is on me. I feel like I'm in constant danger and that there is no way out. I am always at war with my own mind and I'm tired. I just wish I had access to proper medication and care; I can't remember the last time I saw my psychiatrist and counselor. Due to the pandemic and financial issues, I have not been able to see both because I cannot afford to do so. There are other more complex factors that affect this situation, but I digress. Overall, I feel completely helpless, like I am drowning; overwhelmed by everything. And there is no help in sight. I've even had some recurring visions that have disturbed me in a way that I wish not to mention. I'm desperate for any form of help; be it coping skills and/or resources.