Feeling lost

I caught my husband talking to a girl he took her virginity years back the messages still tear me apart when i close my eyes I wish I had never read them but it showed he lied to me for years about things he could be so honest about to someone else. He has lied to me about the stupidest things and he says it's because with me he didn't want me to think badly of him but i think worse of him with the lies. I don't know what to do I love him but the person he has become in ny eyes now that i knkw all these horrible things he said and did to me I find it hard to look at him without disgust. It's been 2 years and nothing has got easier. Ia there hope for us or have i waisted 9 years of my life.