Feeling lonely....

Lately I have just been feeling lonely...there can be plenty of people around me but at the same time it feels like only me...we had our Thanksgiving dinner last weekend and everybody was there...it was nice to have everybody together but I just went through the motions. My mind and thoughts were a million miles away. These days I just can't seem to focus on what anybody is saying. I'm in my own little world with my thoughts. I feel like I am living a lie...when marriage comes up in a conversation and somebody asks me how long we have been married I feel like I am lying when I tell them. Yes I am married to him but we don't live like that and haven't for so many years now. It makes me so uncomfortable when people talk about their marriages.  I have a few friends from years back that I email and I never mention H when I talk about my family. Somebody asked me if I was still married? I didn't know how to answer that question so I just simple wrote back..."we live in the same house!" I don't know what to say. People will invite me to places with him and I don't want to go..I don't want to go anywhere with him! Its a odd situation to be in..yes we are still married on paper but in everyway else we're not. We are merely existing day to day......