Feeling like crap

   So I havn't wrote a journal entry for a while. During that itme, I have been bping and using Ipecac, and freaking killing myself. Yesterday, I was sick for 6 hours from the stuff. I mean sick. I couldn't move, I couldn't eat anything and keep it down. My heart was pounding. I got into another fight with my husband because he just doesn't get it. He went in the bathroom again while I was purging and freaking stared at me the whole time. It made me so mad. I was glad then that I used Ipecac because him being there made me nervous and it was easier for me to get rid of the food. Everytime I look at him, my anxiety level goes up and I am starting to realize he might be part of the problem.    Today I can't BP. I just can't. I know that I am getting closer and closer to the end of the rope. I can't sleep anymore and I can'r function. I know I probably wont bp today, but what about tomorrow? How to I stop myself?