Feeling Hopeless
Hello I am a mother of two special need boys. They both have mental health issues and my youngest has heart disease on top of mental health. Their father terminated his parental rights and my two boys are devestasted and I don't know how to help them heal. I have been single for 6 years now and I have only had 2 real relationships and they both were verbally abusive and they cheated on me and I chose to stay because I loved them. Because of my toxic relationships I feel like a failure because everyone around me is in love and that is what I want for my boys to see a healthy relationship. I have no support I am the support for me and my boys and I just feel like a failure. I do go to therapy once a week but I feel like what is wrong with me? I feel like I am a good person and I still can't get someone to love me no matter how hard I try. The guys who do talk to me they just want sex and I want more than that. I am looking for help because I want to be the best mom for my kids cause I'm all they got. I want someone to have me when I fall cause doing this all alone is so hard.
Replies
Take a moment to assess what you've written here. One sentence at a time, in a private journal, not public. To find a positive relationship, first establish a positive relationship with yourself. Every morning and every night, take a moment in front of the mirror to praise yourself for one thing you did right for you!
Take a moment to figure your value to you. Love you. Be you.
In doing those things, it will be easier to look at the patterns of your behavior in your relationships. The hardest thing to learn to do is to put your well-being first. You are NOT responsible for what others say and do. You are responsible for what you say, do, and how you respond and react should present how you want to be treated. To build the confidence in your appearance, stand in front of the mirror, pull your shoulders back, and practice until it feels normal! Smile and relax all the muscles!
Sex is ..., and until you find what matters most to you and are able to express that in your appearance "confidence"...it's really hard to get that type of natural response from others.
Best wishes, and welcome to DS!