Feeling Guilty
I lost my sweet little Simon on 2/5/13. I have regrets everyday. He fell out of my arms on a tile floor and died within minutes. The worst twist of fate was he was in the animal hosptial on oxygen two days prior and I was preparing for the worst as I was told Simon had a 50/50 chance of survival. After nearly $1,800, I received good news. Simon did indeed have pulmonary hypertension, but it wasn't advanced and not considered life threatening at that point. I was sent home with subcutaneous fluids. I took Simon to the vet on he morning of 2/5/13 and was elated that Simon was going to be okay. I came home, gave him his favorite meal, administered medication. I still question why I decided to pick him up instead of letting him walk outside. I don't know why he became unsteady in my arms. It was a cruel twist of fate. One that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I rescued Simon on 12/5/11. He required a lot of medical care and I nursed him back to health. Simon and I became bonded in a way I've never experienced before. I was his Mommy and he was my little "boo boo". I miss him so much it physically hurts. I will love him forever and believe with all my heart I will see him again. I have to believe that or I couldn't heal.
Replies
I\'m sorry you\'re struggling with guilt, as if grief wasn\'t painful enough... I know all about guilt and the bitter irony of fate. By the grace of God, we managed to help my baby recover from an acute bout of vomiting, presumably caused by a gall stone. Some months later he was diagnosed with triaditis and I ended up malnourishing him while thinking I was doing the best for him. I too am struggling with a lot of guilt, so I truly know how you feel. I hope in time you\'ll come to accept it was an unfortunate accident and by no means your fault. Hugs, take care!
I hope your guilt eases as time passes by. You took great care of your little boo boo for the short time you had him. I\'m sure he would not want you to be so sad. It was a tragic accident that could have happened to anyone. Hold onto the love you shared and remember the great life you gave him by rescuing him and caring for his many medical needs. You were the best Mommy boo boo could ave asked for.
Hugs xoxo