Feeling Discouraged with Child Custody

I'm feeling discouraged with Child Custody. Been in and out of custody battles to finally have a set school and holiday schedule. I've quit my job to be with my daughter and trying to get her extra counseling help. She's 12 years old and no matter how positive and supportive me and her step dad are, she continues to express all her anger at me for all the hurt and painful lies and bashing comments her father and that side of the family makes about me, including that it's all my fault for leaving her dad. Which I completely aware that's her father's point of view even after all the years. She's constantly complaining about things her dad, cousins and uncle's say to her about court and custody. They're so negative and continually pressure the idea of her telling the mediator that she should pick to be with her father 100% of the time. I can't filter what she hears from them and have no control over their actions when she's around them. I just continue to encourage her and tell her sorry for all the mean statements they make. Her father and I have been divorce for almost 11 years now and I still feel that she doesn't fully accept her step dad or step mom even though they've both been supportive and loving to her for so many years, which obviously cause discouragement in my husband as well. We use to live closer to my husband's workplace but move back into the county of original residence to make custody arrangements possible. He drives 1 hour each way to and from work everyday  working 12  hours to supply for our family and all our bills including  expensive attorney fees to have my daughter not show appreciation and respect makes everything tense plus hopeless. It's a constant battle trying to convert the negative impact and stress her father's continually inflicts on her carelessly. I just don't know how to feel or think only praying for peace and some level of escape from the emotional abuse cycle.