Feeling depressed
Well I tried to talk to him again about how I was feeling. This time he said he understood but within 2 minutes he was talking about his boat again. This consumes him day and night. My daughter called this morning and informed me that although she knows that I really need someone to talk to she has to remain positive and cannot change and give me empathy which is what I need. Now what.
I can sit here and try not to think about it but that would be unrealistic. So I have no one. Between putting weight on from not smoking and not being able to lose it, I don't think I have ever been so unhappy in my life. I spend most of my days crying. I know that's not good but I can't stop.
The pain that was barely going down my arm is now stronger and continuous. The grinding and clunking is all the time. I really feel like I am living under a cloud.
I can sit here and try not to think about it but that would be unrealistic. So I have no one. Between putting weight on from not smoking and not being able to lose it, I don't think I have ever been so unhappy in my life. I spend most of my days crying. I know that's not good but I can't stop.
The pain that was barely going down my arm is now stronger and continuous. The grinding and clunking is all the time. I really feel like I am living under a cloud.
Replies
hi Jasmine::: so many things are happening all at once to you.
Once you get settled, you\'ll be able to lose the weight you put on from not smoking. It might be a while til you can exercise and diet, but it\'ll happen one day. It\'s frustrating, I know. I gained 17 pounds while on Crestor, on a 1100 calorie diet, and exercised 45 minutes a day, religiously. But it came off when I stopped the meds, and you\'ll do the same once you\'re feeling better
Is the pain going down your arm from neck compression? I wouldn\'t offer advice but only saying my hands would freeze and make a claw from compression and p/t stretches in the machine helped. I know you have a bad back so am just saying, in case that might be an option.
Many hugs.. thinking of you
Hi Heather. I would guess the pain is from the one disc overlapping the other disc. The only fix to that would be surgery. Not sure which level but either way surgery is imminent. Thank you for caring. I truly need the support
I\'ll be checking DS all the time looking to see how you\'re doing. I know it\'s scary, but one thing is real... once you find out what the problem is, you can at least move on and try to change it all.
Even though hubbies can be annoying (lol here), I relate to your saying hubby can talk about boats all the time... mine can do that too... or mechanics.. and when he\'s with our son, we might as not be there unless we have gears!
if it all gets overwhelming, give me a holler.
I hope the depression subsides...I too gained weight when I quit smoking but I quit in 1987 and that weight just came off in 2014 when I had kidney stone in Jan....it is so hard to lose weight...I never diet...I just eat...LOL soo sorry your unhappy with life right now,...it is not that your alone...we are here for you you have that advantage that some people have not got...some people do not know of DS....hugs bill
Thanks Bill. You are so right. At least I have DS. So many people don\'t know it exists. Hugggss!
(((( hugs))) oh, Jasmine... I feel So badly for you. I remember what it felt like to be told that I needed more major surgeries.. It is really devastating. You are going through a tough grieving process and your family are being so insensitive about it. People just don\'t get it unless they have been there.
Whatever happens - don\'t have this surgery until you are mentally ready. If you can, please go to counseling to get the support you need to get through this.
Mental comfort is a major part of success after surgery. I have a feeling that in a few weeks you will be in a better place. Right now it is just not a good time.
Love.
Thank you so much. I am sure it will be sev weeks before the surgery and that will give me time to get used to the idea. My younger daughter will be home this weekend and she and I have a special bond because of all the time we spent together when she was younger. Oh Aronia I have had so many medical issues in my life and like you so so many major surgeries not including the spinal issues. I guess I am just tired. But I am in a great deal of pain and so I will have the surgery. I guess I was hoping the upper level wasn\'t herniated but it is what it is.
Thank you for your friendship. It means so much to me.
you have been doing so well on not smoking-don\'t give up on yourself-you deserve better so treat yourself better :)
Actually if I need a cig I use the e cig. No desire to smoke at all. Haven\'t really used the e cig either. At this point, with everything that has happened if I haven\'t wanted a cigarette yet I think I am finally done with smoking.
Thank you and missed you.