Feeling crummy

I am back home after a lovely time on the West Coast. However, I feel worse than ever.  I am sure part of it is that it is the first of the month and Lisa died on December 1, 2009.  I also have a cold.  I started to get sneezy on the trip home.  Today I am coughing and have a runny nose.  Enough details about my cold.
I think I have a backlash when I get back from a vacation.  I felt fairly good when I was away, now I am sad and weepy.   I want so much to call Lisa - we would always call one another when we were feeling miserable.  I wrote to her but it just is not good enough.  Friends tell me to call them but again, it just isn't the same.
So I cry and try to make sense of all this.  The upside is that we are going to Ottawa on Monday to see my beautiful granddaughter.  I hope I start feeling better!