Feeling Better.,, for now

So, now when I can't sleep of think of anything that will calm me down, uplift me, I jump on DS and start reading posts in depression. And when I can offer support, give insight, or suggestions I do - but it's like I'm talking to me too, talking myself back into loving myself, feeling worthwhile, useful, and loveable. 

I still get suicidal thoughts most days, even with the meds, and I still wonder if I should have made this or that long term decision just in case I do lose my position, which is my biggest fear right now.