Feeling anxious

So I don't know why it happens to me but I feel very anxious right now.  I don't really know why I am feeling this way.  I read how writing helps with Trich and I want to be able to move forward with not pulling my eyelash's out.  I know people see my eyes without eyelash's and they don't say anything to me.  I feel stupid and embarrased that I don't have them.  I have been able to get some courage and tell a couple of people.  Half of me is glad I did and the other half is not.  The other half doesn't want them to ask me about it.  But I know talking about it is the healthy thing to do.  So I am overwieght as well.  I weigh 226 lbs and I am 5'4.  I used to be in denial that I was 5'5.  I thought that would make me seem less fat.  But no, I am 5'4 and overweight.  I pull my eyelash's out and I am scared for people to be mad at me.  I feel like I always have to make people happy even when I don't want to.  I always feel like others are supposed to come first when i know I need myself to come first. 
Wow, how about that unload for a first journal entry.  I guess I said what I wanted to say for right now.  I know I have to say so much more and I can do that anytime I want.  
Jolynn