Feeling Anxious

Managed to get up and make it to my appointment with time to spare...I rarely do that on the best of days so was surprising.  Even had time to have my coffee before I got there.  The appointment went well, I got some errands done, and lots of walking in.  That's my workout for today.  I'm beat.  I didn't sleep much, if at all, last night.  I'm guessing I got a little bit.  My psychiatrist asked me today if I'd mind if she put in a referral for the sleep clinic since I've been having so much trouble with sleep for so many years and used so many different medication options and non-medication options.  It will likely take a year to get an appointment...but considering how long I've been struggling with sleep issues I don't really care how long it takes just that I get an appointment eventually.  Don't know that I want to be hooked up to all those wires overnight...but will deal with it at the time.  In the mean time we're going to try switching up my sleep meds.  Not to take every night...but every few nights maybe.  So I'm off the ativan (except for anxiety) and going to try Oxazepam again.  It used to work...with any luck it will again.  It's been over a year since I took it last. Just got a text message that my friends doctor sent her to the ER for mental health assessment.  She's having a rough time.  In some ways I hope they admit her...I think she needs that break...but, I guess for purely selfish reasons, I don't want her to be admitted...because I don't want to have to go visit.  She visited me when I asked her to...so I mean if she wanted me to I would.  I'm just a little extra irritable the last few days and with this lack of sleep feeling like cutting or oding...not to kill myself or anything....just enough to get some deep sleep and not have to deal with things for a couple days.  Horrible I know.   Anyway...I have been feeling anxious most of the day.  I thought my heart was racing so I got my blood pressure checked at the drug store...but it's actually fine and so is my heart rate.  So I guess it's just the overtired sleep deprived nerves thing.  I'm so tired I see "strobe lights" and faces hidden in floor tiles....and chairs and the toilet move like they're on the ocean.  I might actually take a little ativan and try to nap.  Don't know if it's wise or not but I think I might just need that.