feeling alone

i feel alone,and worthless i dont get it i have nothing lost my job so the so called friends forgot about me when i had money theyd call me to hangout girls wont even shake my hand i had somebody one day she said i love you so much id marry you right now please marry me so i said yes we were happy one week later she had sex with my best friend same thing happened with another girl except this time she had sex with my cousin i dont know why i havent hanged myself fuck it i really dont want to live anymore but i still want to love and be loved or please someone kill me or love me .ill pay you to kill me tbh im gonna eat some pills right now i dnt care last time i had a seizure i hope i die this time nobody wants to love me so whats the point right.