feeling alone

well i had my 3rd meeting with my counselor and it is seeming to help to talk to her but i still i have panis attacks almost everyday that i don't get to talk to somebody rather her or somebody on here. i been really depressed latley because i found out on monday that one of my best freinds took her life, i just wish i would of felt a little better so i would of been able to see how bad she was. i talked to her on the friday before and she seemed ok but i guess i was wrong. we were supposed to spend some time this next month but that is not going to happen. i been really depressed this week. i been blameing myself for everything. well thank you.