Feeling a little crazy

I just don't get why it has been so hard lately.   My symptoms have been flaring up more than usual the past month.  The past week I have improved a bit.  I am just so tired.  I actually hate living in this body.  Now for someone who says she is focusing on the positive, that sounds harsh.  Well, most days I get through.  Most days i find something positive.  But lately, I have been so sad and angry.  I am so sad that this is my life.  I know God will use it for good somehow.  And being selfish, that just doesn't seem enough for me.   My body aches 24/7.  At least it is just tightness and muscle soreness.  It could be nerve pain.  That would probably really drive you crazy.  I feel like I disappear more each day.  I know I am more than what I can do.  And at the same time the less I can do the more depressed and discouraged I get.  I am tired all the time.  I find myself resenting my husbands freedom to move and do things.  I am unhappy, and sometimes I think I want to ruin his joy too!  How crappy is that.  I feel selfish and I am so tired of thinking and planning ahead.  I am tired of the people who give me a weird or dirty look when I park in the handicap spot.  I am tired of friends who don't get it and think there sore muscles from running 6 miles compares!  When asked how I was, I answered honestly and one friend said, we all feel that way.   I don't think so.  What i wouldn't give to feel soreness from running.  
How am I supposed to do this?  I feel so stuck.  I don't like not liking myself.  And I already struggle with not being able to do things, and now I am struggling with finding joy again.  it is so hard to accept this disease.  Does any one else get it out there?  
I have to find a way to change.  I feel nuts.