feeling a little betrayed
I like to pride myself on the fact that my boyfriend is not a hormonally driven scum bag. He's extremely respectful of my sexual needs and wants, never pushes me farther than I want to go and never does things that would piss any girlfriend off. He doesn't check out girls in front of me, make demeaning remarks about my outfits. He's not a pig.
But he kind of ruined it.
We were drunk the other night, and at first this didn't bother me. For a whole day I literally didn't care at all. But now its seriously making me sick to my stomach. While we were drunk he told me he watches porn.
Now, its not like this was something that never came up before. We've had conversations about it and I've told him my feelings on guys who watch porn (and i don't want to hear some bull crap like oh every guy watches porn get over it its natural). If i believed that EVERY guy watched porn. I would seriously stop dating right now. And i'm honestly kind of at that point. Mitch was the last person I expected to be doing this. Especially since he told me straight up "No, I never watch porn".
It does bother me that we watches it, completely bothers me. I think its absolutely disgusting. I don't like thinking now that very time we have sex he's probably thinking about what they did in that porno, and that's really whats getting him off.
But most of all its the fact that he fucking lied to my face. If he had told me he watched porn the moment I asked him, yes I won't lie I would feel sick to my stomach still. I would hate it, and I would seriously re consider our relationship. Because I want someone who doesn't do that. The past is the past, but the moment I start dating someone and they continue that while were dating, thats completely unacceptable. Its gross.
I feel gross. And i don't know how to talk to him about it. Because honestly i think he'll understand what I'm saying and feel bad and tell me he won't do it again. But this broke some of the trust I have with him. If he's going to lie about that what else has he lied about?A And if he says he won't do it again how can I trust that he won't? He told me he has it on some kind of browser setting where it leaves no trace of him looking it up. So it's not like I can trust him to say oh see look its not in my browsing history and i didn't delete it so it's okay. Its just a bunch of bullshit and I'm fuming upset about it.
So i feel kind of betrayed because of it... how can I bring this up. How can I feel better about this whole thing? Cause I don't know if I can...it disgusts me looking at him right now thinking he does that.
But he kind of ruined it.
We were drunk the other night, and at first this didn't bother me. For a whole day I literally didn't care at all. But now its seriously making me sick to my stomach. While we were drunk he told me he watches porn.
Now, its not like this was something that never came up before. We've had conversations about it and I've told him my feelings on guys who watch porn (and i don't want to hear some bull crap like oh every guy watches porn get over it its natural). If i believed that EVERY guy watched porn. I would seriously stop dating right now. And i'm honestly kind of at that point. Mitch was the last person I expected to be doing this. Especially since he told me straight up "No, I never watch porn".
It does bother me that we watches it, completely bothers me. I think its absolutely disgusting. I don't like thinking now that very time we have sex he's probably thinking about what they did in that porno, and that's really whats getting him off.
But most of all its the fact that he fucking lied to my face. If he had told me he watched porn the moment I asked him, yes I won't lie I would feel sick to my stomach still. I would hate it, and I would seriously re consider our relationship. Because I want someone who doesn't do that. The past is the past, but the moment I start dating someone and they continue that while were dating, thats completely unacceptable. Its gross.
I feel gross. And i don't know how to talk to him about it. Because honestly i think he'll understand what I'm saying and feel bad and tell me he won't do it again. But this broke some of the trust I have with him. If he's going to lie about that what else has he lied about?A And if he says he won't do it again how can I trust that he won't? He told me he has it on some kind of browser setting where it leaves no trace of him looking it up. So it's not like I can trust him to say oh see look its not in my browsing history and i didn't delete it so it's okay. Its just a bunch of bullshit and I'm fuming upset about it.
So i feel kind of betrayed because of it... how can I bring this up. How can I feel better about this whole thing? Cause I don't know if I can...it disgusts me looking at him right now thinking he does that.
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