Feeling a little better

I still am very drained but knowing that I have people that understand, and support it makes me want to try a little longer to get through this. At times I feel that the life I had was all my fault and at other times I feel that I need to know why it happened and why so many different people... Did I have a sign on me saying please abuse, or did I just look like a good target that wont say anything. Thats something I will never really know. I wish I did, and why it all happened just to know, and maybe it would help knowing... Or maybe it would not help at all. But just like the nightmares and flashbacks I want to know why it happened and not my step sister or why me. But I guess everyone asks that question why me... I just really believe that everything happens for a reason.. I just understand why it happened. But I do know now that this support group will help me and I will be able to help others so that we all can get through this hell of a life, and make it better.