Feeling a bit normal today

Got up this am and felt halfway normal.First time I felt this way in a long time I'm crossing my fingers I'll have another good day today.Up pretty late can't sleep I watched a little tv.Went to the cematary to say good-bye to Justin's headstone it's breaking my heart or in other words making it ache much more painfully.I never thought I would lose Justin he was my hero but I have my family and Braden to help me walk the path back to maybe happiness.I sometimes don't think I 'll ever see myself fully happy.But I'm trying real hard.Today wasn't quite as humid didn't rain here.We had a baby shower here for Ashli's best friend Laura she's due August 29 it's a girl her name will be Danielle Nicole.She's so tall she doesn't look 8 months along.I only have 2 and a half weeks left to babysit baby Emily her mom got a day position at the hosiptal she asks if I would like to keep watching her but the hours didn't fit in with my plans (as tho I have any)6:30am-4:00pm.She already has a sitter her Aunt is going to do it half price then what I was going to charge.Today is pool day unless it rains going with Rebecca's best friend's mom she's a woot.She can always tell when I'm having a bad day.She's so funny.It will be fun.Better go to bed Everyone take care and love to all.Vicki