Feeling a bit empty today...

So here I am again with another rousing update...right! Last week my old neighbor from FL was in town and we had a really good time at the local sushi place! Easter was a bit boring but it was good to see everyone. I slept most of the day but then that night I started to get sick...yuck! I had a nasty flu all week that started Sunday night. Monday/Tuesday was the worst...it felt like I swallowed a bag of razors!! Yep! Anyway I fought tooth and nail to beat this stupid flu because I had a date on Thursday I didn't want to miss (more on that later). I still have a bit of congestion but with my asthma that's not unusual. I hate getting sick because it takes me like 2 weeks to recover fully! I think the asthma is my X factor where most people recover in a few days it takes me forever! I get this twice a year like clock work no matter what I do or how careful I try to be. Just a part of life I suppose but totally miserable trying to fight through it!  So the date on Thursday. Well, I can't say that the online dating thing was a complete bust. I started talking to a girl last week and she seemed pretty cool. We set up a date for yesterday (Thursday) at a nice bar/lounge downtown for a drink and conversation. We had a really nice conversation and actually closed the place down after talking all night but there wasn't really any "chemistry" between us. It was really nice meeting someone new and like I said we had a lot to talk about so at least it wasn't some weird date where everyone is uncomfortable! I'll probably leave it at a first date but like I said the online dating thing wasn't a complete bust. I have another month so we'll see but I probably won't sign up again. I wanted to try it and I did. Can't say I haven't tried something new!   So my friends dad died last weekend. I was going to go to the calling hours Tuesday but I was sick as a dog! I told him I was sick and probably wouldn't make it. He's a bit of a strange bird so I think he's mad about it. I have to be honest and say I really don't care. I know that sounds mean but I'm in such a strange place in life right now. It's like...I hate to say this but it's my journal and I have to be honest...if the friends I have today weren't my friends tomorrow I wouldn't cry about it. I hate saying that but honestly they have become somewhat toxic in the past several years. I'm not saying it's their fault or anything like that. I don't think it's anyone's fault per say. I think I have changed and they have changed and sometimes everyone's path in life changes. Unfortunately my path in life seems to have gone from a superhighway to a dirt road that may or may not be a total dead end!! If limbo is a place then I am totally there!  My ex-girlfriend is back from FL and we need to get together and exchange our stuff. She's working on getting that place paid off and I guess that will be it. This sucks. We were so perfect in some ways yet so bad in others! It's like I miss her like crazy but I know we could never be together because I totally can't handle and sort of commitment or what most people think of as a "normal" relationship. I hate the implied Saturday night dates...staying over night...the Sunday routine...the daily calls/emails...it just all feels like a script you end up following rather then something you actually want to do! I think I'm just goofy to be honest. I don't know anymore. Why do we have chemistry with people that are ultimately not compatible in the long run? That's for smarter people then me to answer!So my job is doing OK I guess. I mean I'm really busy so that's good but this project I'm on...I'm having SUCH a hard time getting motivated to work on it!!! I don't know why! I have a deadline of Thursday next week! I have something to show but my God I've got to get my act together on this and get it freakin done!! I'm going to spend some time this weekend on it. I was so sick and so wacked out on flu meds this week so that didn't help at all!! I also seem to work better under pressure so now that I have a deadline maybe that will kick me in the butt! I'm feeling dizzy today from Robitussin DM so that's not helping my brain any! Hopefully this will be the last day of flu meds...  I'm getting my car worked on...$500 for new hoses, belts and water pump. It wasn't acting up and it drives great so preventative maintenance mostly. I hope I can make her last a few more years. 9 years strong so far...sad my longest relationship is with my car!! HA!