feeling sad

Okay, so I am feeling sorry for myself which is so lame (my kids use that word) because I am able to do quite a bit compared to so many people who are truly struggling with not being able to get out of their houses, or even their beds.  I apologize to all of you for my being a whimp!
I received an invitation to go to a party for the secretary of the program that I was in as a chaplain.  It is today.  I am not there.  My supervisor is giving away books from the CPE library that they no longer need, and for those of you who know me -- I love books.  (a bit of an understatement) And, I would like to see some of my friends from when I was a chaplain.   Anywhooo....  I am disappointed.
Everybody has disappointments.  My husband said something the other day about my being anti-social for not going with some friends to a meeting at our church.  He said he was just kidding.  I had to muster up the energy to give him another one of those talks about how I wish I could do things, etc. etc.
I am anti-social.  I admit it.  But I think we need a different kind of word here.  I am to the point of not really knowing how to be social anymore. 
Well, that's it for now.  Just sharing a disappointment and feeling ashamed that I feel sad about it.  Then again, even people who aren't able to do as much as I can are still disappointed now and again.  How fair is to compare our disappoinments?  They are what they are and we can empathize, I  suppose.
carry on,
katy
p.s.  forgot to note that the past couple of weeks have been a rough patch.  I had a bad cold one week and then for the past couple of weeks I have been trying to find strength every day to get myself going.  So tired.  

Replies

RichieD
RichieD

Do be careful not to overdo and have a monster crash. I worry about that with you, Katy.

You go right ahead and feel sorry for yourself. It\'s a rotten job, but someone has to do it. Really, feel sad. We have all earned the right to feel sad and depressed. This disease really sucks. Forget that put on a happy face stuff.
deleted_user
deleted_user

We all have Down days. We need energy to get more energy! I used to listen to music & dance! But after the 3 brutal chemos I had. I can\'t. Just barely walking is all I can do! I may never ever be able to run again. And most may be permanent. Make sure you have a gratitude journal. List things you are grateful each day! List some tiny, easy to do achievable goals and try. Just try. Little bites at a time! Don\'t be too hard on yourself. That can\'t help! Pray hard when you\'re really down. For your sign and for your strength to move on. A little. Just a little as a time! We are all different and we all have our reasons. Do try to make time for You! Getting out and all. I too must have caught that cold! I\'m feeling miserable too! But had to quickly send you my care! I hope you can feel better in all aspects. Take good care! Its very brave of you to share this! Thank you! Have a Great week.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Katy, So sorry you missed your party! Yes, is does feel good to get to share what we are feeling. Thanks for doing so! I wish you a brighter tomorrow!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Katy Katy Katy..I am going to the store to buy some good cheese today..it was to go along with MY whine..but you can have some! (You Do know I am teasing you I hope!) And I always apologize for venting the unpleasantries and others tell me to STOP apologizing so now I am telling you to stop! This is why we are here and what we do! We vent to each other because we understand each other!
As for comparing ourselves to others, that is never good and just because we may be more fortunate than some and less fortunate than others does not mean OUR feelings should be diminished! OUR feelings about whatever it may be are still valid!
I am sorry you missed the party..I know how that is to miss out ob the social life that we \"could be\" participating in. As for a new word for anti-social..how about socially challenged? LOL We are temporarily socially challenged!
Or maybe we are taking a social sebatical...hmm
I hope your talk with your husband was succesful in reminding him that this is not a chosen path for you.
Well, my dear friend, I do hope you are feeling better today. Hugs to you!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Katy I\'m really glad that you expressed this feeling of sorrow and of missing out on an occassion because lord knows I have whinged my guts out about missing milestones during crashes and the grief I have felt around that, and you may work but you still have this illness. It\'s not like you\'ve been able to shake it (I wish you could) so you have it tough in that there is an appearance to others that you work so you must be able to do these others things, however as we all know that\'s not how it works right? So don\'t be ashamed for feeling sad about missing out on something. I\'m honoured you shared your sadness and think you should do more of it, so it would even out the scales a bit around here, you rarely share that feeling. I remember my journal \"Milestones..\" boy did I let it rip. Wow. I had such grief about missed events and the whole journal was about that and I remember you commenting on it. Don\'t feel either like you can\'t feel as sad because you\'re not housebound or bedridden, you still have an illness, and you work and like I said you have to juggle that perception that others have that if you work you must be well, and we all know you would really be struggling. I know if I ever return to part-time work I will struggle big time. So I take my hat off to you for working at all with this illness given the nature of it. Blessings and love to you. PS I looove books too :)