Feelin\' tired

I know I havent wrote a journal entry in a while so I thought I would update everyone and just give a general chat. My fiancé and I are doing well. We are being communicated and always honest with each other. I do have to say, yes I’m going to gloat because I love her so much, but she is the most beautiful person I know inside and out. She will do anything for anyone, and so caring and smart.  We are trying to look for another apartment because the manager raised our rent yet again. So now we are paying $715. Even though it’s $20 more that can really make a difference in your bills ya know? Before we moved here we were looking for apartments in the price range of $650-$685. So that has been both stressful and hard. I’m in the process of waiting to go to the doctor because I need to have my medicine changed for things. Every little thing in life is stressing me out all the time and with me stressing Dorinda stresses out and I don’t want that. She can feel my energy and it makes her worried and anxious. But overall its annoying, yes I know I’m being annoying, but I honestly don’t realize it. I’m working on a lot of things and I really hope to over come them all and be a better person especially to the love of my life. I didn’t realize it until tonight when Dorinda and I talked about it but I’m talking more about my eating and my weight than I thought I was. I’m looking at calories and changing the way I shop which isn’t a bad thing. I’m trying to not go down the wrong hill. Inside I really feel that I’m not talking about it much because I’m afraid of how Dorinda will react. I know she has a lot of problems of her own and I hate putting mine on her. And I feel so bad that I heard I was doing it anyway. So I really want to back off on the subject. There are times when I feel that I’m not supporting her the way I should be. And there are times when I don’t know how because its out of my control and I feel so bad, like I’m an awful fiancé. I don’t know what to do at times. It’s hard for me. Hmmm Moving on….. I have applied for several jobs: Starbucks, Old Navy, Office Depot, Circuit City, Best Buy. Not very many people are hiring, but I’m still looking. School is going well for me. I changed my major to Graphic Design so I’m excited to start that up and continue to take classes that I need for my major. I’m taking ASL 3, Math 111, and Non-fiction writing which I’m excited for because I really enjoy writing. I’m really excited for Spring Break to come and especially Summer. I love summer. I get to swim in our apt complex. I love swimming.I’m really missing our pets: Ashley, babyboy the most. I was close to babyboy and wish he could have stay around for longer but I know that he is in a better place. I have this long talk with my adopted mom Audre’ (Dorinda’s mom) and it was a very interesting talk. There were words said that I never thought I would hear. I love her to death, I just didn’t want everything to change so dramatically because I think a few things were taken out of content but we are doing really good now so I’m happy for that. I’m so grateful for everything in my life. My health is good. I have a great partner and best friend in my life who is so supportive of me and loves me for who I am. And I have a mom Dorinda’s mom who loves and cares for me as well. Smiles. We really have a good relationship. Smiles. I think that is about it for now. Oh no wait smiles. Dorinda and I are going to a wedding in April. We are really excited. Our friends Gabby and Ash are getting married and we will be in Teas for about 4 days. I’m really excited because I’ve never been there before. I’m looking for to Dorinda and I’s 3 year anniversary. I already have everything planned and I’m really excited. Smiles. Well I’m out but Ill talk about life another time. Peace out DS homiesI love you and hope you all are doing well and staying safe.