Feel so very sad

Last day of school today which was fine with me, but I do miss my first graders they had such sweet spirits this year. This summer was SUPPOSED to be dedicated to chillin out before my little boy was to be born. Now, we are scheduled to pick up his ashes instead. My heart is breaking becuase so many teachers at my school are going to be big and showing pregnant when I start back in August. My baby was suppose to be here. My mom was in the process of paying on all the baby's bedding and crib and when I went to her house I caught a glance of all his stuff. I can't shake the sadness today...It hurts so bad.....