feel so...so....emotionless

i feel so blah....like i'm dead.....my brother came back and i'm pissed at him.....i'm angry at him for a lot of reasons, but i'm also totally emotionless......like the anger isn't that strong, but i wanna cut......i know that cutting is bad, and i dunno WHY i'm so emotionless.....maybe it's the shock that he just left and now that he's back, but...i dunno