Feel like I am losing part of the battle
Hi All -
I have had RA now for nearly 20 years... It have been able to "master it" for the most part and accept what it has brought to my life. But the last year has been awful. I have struggled with fatigue like never before. My relationship is suffering because I "opt out" of so much. I am just "not up to it" so much of the time.
My boyfriend doesn't get it because when we got together five years ago I was up for anything. I could be spontaneous and I was a doer!! But this last year has been so damned hard and he takes it as something to do with "us" and it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with us. I am at a loss. He takes my fatigue as me not "wanting to"... and in a way he is correct. When I feel that run down and sad...I don't want to do much of anything. This is so unlike the me he got together with. I am not sure how to communicate it with him and he doesn't feel open to it. It feels like to him I am making excuses. I am not!!!!!!!
I have always wanted to point to a thing and blame that thing... with this is there is no THING it just seems to be everywhere and I can't get away from it...it seeps from my pores. It isn't anything I can pin-point and address.
Lost, lonely and suffering right now :(
God RA really SUCKS sometimes...
Kyle
I have had RA now for nearly 20 years... It have been able to "master it" for the most part and accept what it has brought to my life. But the last year has been awful. I have struggled with fatigue like never before. My relationship is suffering because I "opt out" of so much. I am just "not up to it" so much of the time.
My boyfriend doesn't get it because when we got together five years ago I was up for anything. I could be spontaneous and I was a doer!! But this last year has been so damned hard and he takes it as something to do with "us" and it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with us. I am at a loss. He takes my fatigue as me not "wanting to"... and in a way he is correct. When I feel that run down and sad...I don't want to do much of anything. This is so unlike the me he got together with. I am not sure how to communicate it with him and he doesn't feel open to it. It feels like to him I am making excuses. I am not!!!!!!!
I have always wanted to point to a thing and blame that thing... with this is there is no THING it just seems to be everywhere and I can't get away from it...it seeps from my pores. It isn't anything I can pin-point and address.
Lost, lonely and suffering right now :(
God RA really SUCKS sometimes...
Kyle
Replies
Well today was a pretty good day. Pain is still rough from time to time and fatigue is a battle. Jeez, I hate that! Anyway, I am working hard to be grateful. When I am IN gratitude EVERYTHING is better. I really is even if nothing has changed materially. You know?
Anyway, I am grateful today for today. For the person in my life even though at times we frustrate each other. I am working hard to see the positive in things, life and even work. That last on is a toughie.
But gratitude is my GOAL!!