Feel like crap :(

I am pretty sure that if I call my mum today, she will book her flight tonight and will come whenever I want. As for MIL, that's a slightly different story. I mentioned our conversation to DH the evening she called and things the last couple of days have been pretty tense. It all ended in tears last night. I was sitting here all day thinking about the 9th May and how different it will be to when DD was born, with a totally excited husband that wouldn't let me do a thing. I'm totally on my own in every respect. DH has been pretty vague about taking time off. It really makes me sad that he has put work first and continues to tell me that whilst both are important (the birth, yeah right!) and work, that is he DOESN'T work, then in August/September we risk having NO income because if he doesn't sell now (he works in real estate), he will have no commission in Aug/Sept coming in. I was so upset last night. I decided yesterday to try and get everything straightened out so that I just know for sure when my mum will be here, who will bring me to hospital, who will take care of DD (because obviously if DH is working, then he won't be available to take care of her, let alone me). So I texted him yesterday and asked him to confirm that he is NOT taking time off so my mom can book her flights. I really feel that he owes me at least this. He is messing up everyones plans by being so vague. I also reckoned if I pushed the issue and he had to confirm, that perhaps he'd have a change of heart and take at least a couple of days. But no, he is taking the day of the induction and that's it. He will 'have to go in to work" after the 9th. I also told him to call his mom and tell her that it's not convenient for her just to show up (which he did) and to put off any plans to visit until I am feeling up to it, probably get the first few weeks out of the way. I want to see her, I know she wants to see the baby but I can't have everyone appearing out of the woodwork at the same time and because I KNOW that I will be doing everything on my own after the 9th without even a cup of tea or a sandwich from DH, then I'm really starting to have some major anxiety issues about coping in general. I feel so bad for my DD and baby knowing that he just isn't there for them. I feel bad for myself because I see other women around who are waited on hand and foot by their husbands and it seems that I'm not entitled to that at all these days, because of WORK!!!! Anyway, last night there was a shouting match and DH continually refers back to the fact that he HAS to work. He didn't reply to my original text and I had to ask him to confirm his intentions 3 frigging times. To explain, he works in real estate in sales and has to mandate then sell properties. He is classed as an employee but has a strange "self-employed" contract meaning that he pays into the social security system in France (which is great!) but choses his hours/days/holidays and the likes. So in theory, it's up to him to decide. I've tried looking into this kind of contract on the internet. I know quite a bit about French labor laws but not this kind of contract and I actually think that because he pays in, he is entitled to the same paternity leave (3 days for the birth + 11 days paid any time within the first year) as any other employee but he just doesn't WANT to take the time off. He also said he is concerned that I "don't have a job and will have to start looking straight away after the birth due to the dreadful state of the employment market here in France" - WTF??????????? What kind of asshole puts that kind of thing as a priority when all I want to know is if he will be available around the time of the birth so that I don't have to worry about who is coming and when. I told him I'm currently happy to just know what's happening tomorrow, let alone in 6 months. This from the man who in general has been unable to plan ahead for his entire life. For info, I'm good for paid maternity leave from 11th April (from unemployment would you believe) until 30 July then I have another 6 months unemployment so in theory I have a decent monthly income from unemployment (over the average French salary that is) until next year. Of course, I will need to look for work but I'm not planning on doing that until September. And I will take my time about it. And I will be hard pushed to find a F/T position making the same money as before because those jobs just don't exist in our area and the previous one was a "fluke"!!!! Anyway, I'm calling my mom tonight because really, I can't deal with this any longer. I don't want him at the birth and I hate the fact that his job around the 9th will be as a glorified taxi driver (nothing against taxi drivers of course but this is NOT what I need right now). I'm going to get her over 2 days before the birth and have her stay for the first week. That way, she will be at the birth (well, not in the room but at the hospital) and will be able to take care of DD. DH will have to taxi them back and forward to the hospital and fit work in to our schedule. DD will be off for 3 days, 9th, 10th + 11th (she only does a half day at school on Wednesdays anyway, so won't miss much). They will be able to visit me from 1pm to 8pm daily. DH can drop them off and bring them back. How sad is that. Dropping your kid and MIL off at hospital while you go back to work, leaving your wife and newborn to get on with it. I know my mum will take care of everything at home while I'm in the hospital and when we get home and I feel that because she lives so far away from us (in Scotland) she will be absolutely over the moon to be able to participate and be there for the birth. But the thing I feel REALLY bad about and I've been in tears all day thinking about it is the fact that DH did as I asked and told MIL not to come until I say it's OK. I feel so guilty. In a way, I feel like I'm punishing her for being Dh's mum, not because I don't want her here. If DH was around to help out, then I'd have no issues with her coming. Really, that's the real reason I don't want her around, because I'll end up babysitting her too. And DH refuses to help so it's tough for me to say no, then think about how disappointed she must have been last night when she called and heard that she is to stay away. I'm tearing up again even thinking about it. I feel like a total sh*t for doing that. She is a nice lady but I am punishing her and her side of the family for DH's actions and I know that's not right. I feel so guilty. I just can't deal with this crap any more. I want to fast forward to when everyone will have seen baby and I can get my life back. The pre-induction anxieties have kicked in full force the last couple of days and for the first time in this pregnancy I'm really starting to ask myself if this was really the right choice, given the circumstances. I've wanted this for so long, yet it just seems so wrong theses days and so much hassle for everyone. When you are sat here with baby kicking and you feel like this, it's not a good place to be. People are so happy for me, knowing what I've been through with IF problems, yet the one person that I want to be happy for me couldn't give a shit and puts work first.every.single.time. I should also mention that DH thought he would just drop me at the hospital on the 9th because I was having a cesarian and wouldnt be allowed in the OR. He planned to go back to work and then come back in the evening  He doesn't have a clue what is going on.