Feel Angry and OK about It
I went to see my parents with the kids, of course checked the phone accounts knowing the texting or calls would continue. Actually, I don't care, they both repulse me to the point where I DON'T have to look at her and can barely stomach looking at him. Overall it was a good weekend, had a bday party where the kids and I enjoyed it. Could care less if he wants to meet with her...just get the fuck out of the house, then you can carry on your disgusting torrid sex romp. I think I've reached the angry phase, at least for a few days, anyway. The less I'm around him the more I don't care. This is why I stay in my room, as soon as he's home. Less I have to look at his putrid face the better off I am. Right now, I think if he begged me to give it a shot...I would say go fuck yourself. I am looking for new car...possibly...rented a Kia Sportage while the Suburban is being fixed and like it a lot...small, 4WD, 6 cylinder...fits 2 car seats...anyone have one..can you give me a review? Don't know the price or what the payments would be but it may be worth a shot looking once I start the job and figure out how much I would be paying for rent (since I don't see him moving his ass out anytime soon). Don't want to trade in the old accord but keep it since it's paid off with 90,000 miles...they go forever...it still has a lot of life in it. Dating...don't think I'm ready although, I did post my profile on a personals site and have had my share of freaks checking me out...uggghhh! Why did I do that...it's not me and I said I would NEVER do that. I have been corresponding with a guy that seems to be nice but haven't heard back from him in a week so I will take it as a NOT, even though he's been trying to get me out for a drink. I think I turned him off when I said possibly willing to try again..and that I feel funny putting my profile on...hope I didn't insult him but if I did...so be it. That is how I feel. I don't feel for anyone right now...I just don't feel. For friends maybe so but for anything else...don't think so. I don't have a sexual feeling in my body for anyone or anything. That cannot be normal but I am over 40, so who knows. Could care less if I "get it" again. Again, I feel nothing. I think I'm very abnormal, and that is most likely part of what contributed to the situation I am in, even though I went to drs to see what was wrong...so much for..."for better or worse". Whatever.