Fed up

Another weekend has gone by and I've blown all my money at the casino.I keep feeding those slot machines thinking I'll win back all that I've spent.It never happens, you never win it back  ..... even those ODD times that you do win something you put it all back into the machines.......   I KNOW THIS, yet I keep playing, I know it's so crazy but I can't stop myself when I'm there.Then the worry starts after I've blown my money and wonder how the heck I'm going to scramble to pay the bills.  I'm a grown woman, I should know better, I should be responsible.  I say all the right things to myself when I've lost all my money, after payday I think Oh Maybe I'll be lucky and my car turns into the casino parking lot.I'm so sick of myself, I hate this, I hate hating myself.  I'm so ashamed of myself.The real test for me is the weekends .. .I dont' go to a casino during the week, but come Friday or Saturday my car automatically pulls into the parking lot.  I have notes in my wallet to remind me how horrible I will feel when I lose my money.  I gotta stop this ....... Please, Please someone talk some sense into me.  I truly, want and need support.