Fed Up with myself.

Well my blood pressure is down, since my latest increase of meds for that.Problem is, I am down, too. I am in a real rut here.  I feel decades older than I am. I am fatter than ever.  I do blame my anti-depressant (Lexapro) for that. I am not eating more, though I should move my body more.It hurts to move!Oh and I am in menopause, too, which the doctor says is why I can't lose weight.  I am at that point where I desperately need to get out and move more, but am literally so embarrassed about my weight, that I don't want to leave the house during the day.I actually walk at night, which is dangerous, but I just can't stand to let people see me right now, let alone answer their nosy questions.ACK......I almost want to beat the crap out of myself, I am sooooo irritating. Well I guess that concludes this depressing piece of crap journal entry. How come I am more interested in giving other people advice, or trying to cheer them up, than myself???