February 3, 2012 1992-1997

Toward the end if 1991, I was dating this guy who was this jesus freak.  He was this good ole catholic boy.  We lasted about 6 months but anytime I would bring up anykind of "sex" he would freak out.  Infact, he broke up with me because of it, on my 25th birthday in January 1991.  Oh well.  I really wasn't into him at all.  For many years, my cousin and her husband lived across the street from him. 
About March 1991, I went out with one of my friends Peggy to this bar (which is no longer in existence, I cannot recall the name of the bar - it wasn't downtown).  My friend and I were dancing and this cute guy comes walking up to me and talks to me.  His name was John, he was a steel salesman in town but lived way up north of Buffalo.  We exchanged phone #'s and started to talk allthe time.  Lisa was still my roommate at the time and we were still living in our first apartment together.  For some strange reason she didn't like him.  About a month before I met John, I went out a few times with another John that worked with my sister.  This was the time my sister started to date that John. 
John and I had a good relationship for the 1st 3 years of being together.  He eventually bought a house for himself.  About year 3 was when things started to get very rocky.  He had this thing about not treating me very good, putting me down and emotionally playing with me.  the 3rd year was the time I had this roommate Lisa who was a cocktail waitress and had knockers out to here.  Of course, John had his hand of picking her.  I personally think he slept with her when I was working.  It was often difficult to go out to bars with him because it wasn't unusual to see him bombed out of his mind, saying a few hurtful things to me (with others feeling bad for me).  He would always insist on driving home, I often wondered whether or not I would be alive.  The strange thing about all of that was he never got caught the entire time we were together.  His cousin was a cop and he always thought that he had a golden ticket.  He also would almost force me to drink more than I normally would.  That wasn't very good either.  I have this journal I have in a box of the time period when I was with him.  I recently read it and I was in tears.  It was a cry for help.  Here I was, in a relationship with a guy for years and for what.  I was afraid to leave him.  The last straw was in 1996, we decided to move in together (I know that was bad).  It actually made the relationship worse.  He eventually cheated on me with the secretary at his office.  I moved out and the minute I moved out, she didn't want him anymore.  Its like the excitement was over when that happened.  By then, I was already gone.  I didn't want to go back to him - he has cheated on me so many times I can't even count.  Shortly after we broke up, he got a DWI and was in jail overnight with his parents bailing him out.  Then about 4 months later, he got another DWI and had his license revoked for about 3 years.  What kills me about the whole thing is that one of his friends must have signed for his insurance and plates so he can go visit some chick in Binghamton!  Its a good thing he never got caught without a license.  He wound up marrying her but I doubt that they are together because "once a cheater, always a cheater".  We broke up in April 1997.
Work - In 1990, I left the lawfirm that I worked for prior to working my 1st job.  It was a mistake taking it because here I was going from a country-rural company to corporate city lawfirm.  I really wasn't fitting in there at all and didn't make the 90 day probation.  In April 1990-July 1991, I worked for this office supply company as an invoice clerk.  I really liked it.  The issue I had with that place is that the boss, Jerry was an idiot.  He constantly had me in his office, repremanding me about this and that, documenting my work.  I finally got my work at a 98% accuracy except for a TEH.  There was this girl in the office, her name was Kristy.  She must have interviewed for the position inside and I got it.  Ever since then she had my name because she was always blowing me in about this and that. Ailienating me against everyone in the office.  When they finally let me go, I was so burned out emotionally that I was out of work for 8 months (back then they had no EAP employment counselor to go to).  I got a 2nd job at a nursing home receptionist but I think they caught wind of it and didn't like it (they had a rule of no other work other than that job).   I worked a lot of temp jobs after that.  It built up my confidence level alittle bit.  I think I worked with a few temp companies at the time.  The only issue was that I really needed a full time job with benefits.  I only had a high school diploma.  I remember going to this one temp agency and all she told me was that I was qualified to work a 4.50/hr job (that was minimal wage and a lot lower than my 1st job).  I was so upset that I left the building.  How dare they.  Back then it was pre computer so all typing tests were done on a IBM selectric typewriter.  It was much harder to type on a typewriter than a computer, thats for sure.  The nursing home job was great because my boss was my friends aunt so she really lifted my spirits up (also my friend worked as a receptionist there on the weekends).  Annette was able to give me hours to accommodate my needs.  I was able to work plenty of 4:30-9pm shifts and she was able to schedule me.  I also worked 8-4pm on Sat and 4:30-9pm on sundays.  I didn't mind working until 9pm on sundays during a work night because I didn't live far from the nursing home.  I really loved that nursing home, if they didn't have to close because of the peace bridge to canada project (they are planning on expanding it), I'd go back in a heartbeat.  Anyways, in October 1991, I did get a full time job with benefits.  It was a data entry clerk at this telemarketing company (their head office).  I didn't mind doing the work but the boss really hated me.  She was always looking over my shoulder and favoring the other data entry clerk.  I remember for xmas, we exchanged presents and for some reason she got my name.  She went into her office and had a hissy fit.  Im not kidding, throwing things in her office because she got my name.  I remember what I got, it was some music box - probably something she found for a dollar.  I actually only gave them a weeks notice right after xmas because I became a Home Health Aide.  I heard about 3-4 months later, the telemarketing company got raided by the FBI and shut doors. Some of those managers were arrested.  I think a few of them are still serving time today (I mean, they got years - like 20-30 years).  I did the home health aide training, I really liked it.  For the 1st time, I felt relaxed and didn't have to deal with office politics.  Around the 15th of Jan, I got licensed.  I got a 100 on the clinical and an 85 on the written.  Im not a very good test taker.  It was nice getting up and driving around to different people's homes.  Plus I was getting a lot of 4 hr cases (back then there wasn't much cut back with insurances).  It was pretty easy to get 40 hr workweek for the day position.  Again, I didn't have insurance.  The cost was too damn high and we had to pay it ourselves.  Soo...I did HHA work for about a year until March 1993, then when I was working at the nursing home, I looked on the job board in the hall and saw there was a A/R billing-data entry clerk position in the home health office.  I put in for it.  I went for the interview but I was pretty sure I got the job before I was hired. My boss, Cindy was pretty bubbly and nice. I felt pretty confident under her.  My co workers, Brenda W, Brenda T and Theresa seemed really nice.  It was often difficult to show them I could do the job at the beginning.  I don't think they cared for my work.  I heard later that they had gone to Cindy more than once about my job performance.  I was grateful of Cindy to give me that chance.  Infact, it was Cindy who turned me on to running.  I use to run many 5ks in the running circuit.   Eventually Cindy moved to Tennesee and got a new boss.  By year 2-3 I was extremely confident and the girls were very helpful and encouraging.  Brenda W drove me crazy because she yelled and talked so much.  We were all extremely close and had lunch with eachother regularly.  Eventually Brenda W was sent downstairs in verification and Kathy came from the nursing home to do A/P work.  I eventually started to do more A/P work with Kathy - run checks, do mileage, little things like that along with my A/R Data entry duties. 
Like I said, I use to run a lot of races fom 1993-1997.  I really enjoyed it and made lots of good friends.  I feel sad that i don't keep in touch with them.  I did start running some longer races, 10ks, 15k's (utica boilermaker 15K), 1/2 marathon, and finally the walt disney marathon in January 1997 (I trained while I was having all those issues with John, who was never around because he was cheating behind my back - I guess it was better than drinking or drugs).  I managed to finish in 5hr 30 minutes.  It was fun seeing mickey and minnie mouse and running through all the parks.  I also belonged to this running group.  They were kinda clicky but they were nice people.  I did my part in the group.  They were a bunch of older folks and hardly any younger joined.  I did have 1 friend Kris and Larry that I ran with on Tuesday nights (we did 4 miles).  Neither did a lot with the group other than tues night run. Today, Kris is married with 4 little ones under 10 and Larry - he was older but liked to be with us.  He retired from the gas company and visits his daughter in germany regularly - he is in his mid 60's now and hurt his knees. 
In May 1997, I lived over by the buffalo zoo.  It wasn't unusual to hear the giraffes or elephants in the middle of the night howling.  I liked living over there, it was a small apartment but it worked for me because I was starting over.  I had to learn to live being a single person for the 1st time in 6 years.  6 years!  I hate to even think about that - putting up with such a jerk.  Everyone hated him because he treated me so bad.  The neighbors were real nice to me.  I actually had some great times in that place.  Turns out the little old man that lived in 2 buildings over, his wife worked with me at Buffalo General - apprently they were separated for years.  My x boyfriend from hs, Jim (remember the summer school guy) came by and visited me.  We went to a late summer festival.  I kinda felt bad because I knew he wanted to see what I was doing.  I just wasn't ready for him or a relationship.  He understood.  That was the last I saw him.  One of the girls I ran with outside of Kris and Larry I hung out with her (I cannot remember her name).  She was living with some guy but it turned out that he actually started to like me. He and I started to run the park in the evenings (we ran a few times around (3.6 miles) a few times a week).  He was nice but I didn't think of him that way. I actaully had to dodge him a few times.  LOL!!  he finally got the hint but we stayed good friends.  It was better that way.  My 1st real boyfriend after John was Bill.  I think the only reason why we stayed together was because he needed a date foe all of his firemen installations.  He was always afraid to talk to me.  I never seen anything like it.  He was ok with the "guys".  He was installed as fire chief at his firehall.  The entire time he ignored me and even went up to the bar with the guys and forgot about me.  His brother and sister in law planned on taking me home but he insisted on doing that himself.  I ripped him a new one.  That was probably the worst date I had in my life.  After that, we probably saw eachother for about 2 months that that was it.  A month later, I met Paul, he was 7 years younger than me.    He was actually my neighbor upstairs from my 1st apartment (without roommates and before moving with John).  He was about 7 years younger than me.  He seemed really nice and was very interested in me.  The one issue I had with him was that he smoked a lot of pot.  He always said that was "what he was" and no "woman was gonna change that".  I was ok for awhile but it did get to me at times.  We saw eachother a lot.  I mostly stayed at his place because he worked north of the city and my apartment was too far from him.  He was always so emotional.  He told me he has ADHD but occasionally had crying fits.  That was finally the last straw - I didn't want to be with a guy who:  smoked pot, friends who were considerably younger and had nothing incommon with them, and was an emotional reck.    I took him to my mothers installation (when she first ran for counselmen).  I ignored him and then I told him that it wasn't working out between us.  this was the first relationship where I said that "I didn't like him anymore" (well...I didn't!!).   He didn't take it very well and told me to get out of the car fast, then he sped off. 
That was it for 1992-1997.  Outside of my running, breaking up with John it was pretty uneventful.   Next is 1998-2002.