Feb 15th has come and gone

Well everything for the most part went as I had hoped.  My ex-mother-in-law, perjured herself on the stand.  As well as the girlfriend and the ex.  Luckily for me, I had written documentation and was able to prove it.  Did it get me any where?  Big FAT NO!!!!!! - - -The best part of the day was when the judge talked with our daughter and took her feelings into consideration and ordered that the girlfriend not be present during the visits and that the visit would only be day visits (no overnights) and on Sundays each week.  Well that lasted 1 whole freakin' week.  As always, he managed to manipulated and coerced our daughter into doing something against her wishes.  He stated that they intend on going camping and to Nascar Races and boating etc.  If our Daughter would not open to the GF then our daughter would miss out on all the fun stuff.  So after discussing the situation in length with my daughter, I'm allowing it for now.  But just one time, let me hear my daughter say one time, that the girlfriend did or said something to hurt her.   The visits will cease until we go back to court.  

So I find myself once again dealing with the built up anger of watching and hearing about their "happy little family" they are trying to so hard to have.  While I sit home alone.  Yes, I've been visiting with friends and or keeping busy during the once a week visits.  I have even been extremely nice to the girlfriend.  Addressing her when she comes with him for the exchange.  I made the unfortunate comment yesterday that "he can't go anywhere with out his shadow".  They were on their way home from a birthday party and where driving separate vehicles.  Instead of continuing home, she actually followed him thru the parking lot of an extremely busy Outlet center and watched while my daughter said good bye to her father.  I guess that's what happens when you both cheat on your spouses, get caught and are now labeled as adulterers.  Neither of them will ever trust the other.  Then on the trip home, I asked my daughter what they gave the 5 yr old (son of my ex's nephew) for his birthday.  In any normal circumstance I would say the gift would have been appropriate, however, they gave him chaulk in a pickup truck/boat toy.  Lets see, 1st, they live way out on a farm, on a back country dirt road, with no sidewalks or driveway.  Secondly, this child has his very own John Deer battery operated tractor, 4 wheeler, etc.  "Chaulk"  - -  really??????  Unfortunately, I made a few comments about how daddy can't go anywhere with out his shadow and a comment or two of the cheesy present.  Didn't go too well.  My daughter was angry.  She stated that I had nothing good to say, all negative.  Oooopppps.   So I shut my mouth.  Sat in the car while she ran in the store for something.  Didn't say a word - just drove home.  Sat in the dark for a while scanning (facebook, twitter, instagram etc.)  then noticed, she has never commented when her and I do something.  Only when her and her father.  Here is where the true anger came out.  Seriously, your father hasn't paid a dime in child support.  Lied to the judge re: his income but can afford crab legs this week, crabs that week and shopping at the mall.  None of which he ever did when we were married - - Ever!!!!!!   She made a comment about what a wonderful time she had with her dad on her birthday and couldn't wait to see her friends that night.   ((( I planned a huge sleep over, 20 girls, in a very small bungalow.  We took a haunted walk thru a cemetary at night, we played apples to apples, we danced, we watched scary movies.  They stayed up all night.  Literally....)))  Did she make a single comment about the party and how much fun it was.  Nope!!!!!!  Did she thank me?  Nope!!!!!!  - - - So now every emotion is coming to a boiling point and I'm ready to blow.  Took a xanax, said good night to my friends on facebook and slept it off until this morning.  Still upset, still want to blow.  Have some apologizing to do followed up by some counseling.  I need to move the freak on.  One day I will be happy again.  I sure hope it's before I completely push my daughter away and lose her for good.