Fears
Been trying to tackle the psych evaluation questionaire in the adoption packet. Mind fuck city. . . The questions are geared to middle aged couples. You know. . . Those folks I havenae figured out what to introduce myself as, much less how to talk to at Big Bro's school activities or the day care. What the fuck is a "Play Date?" Do daycare buddies have to play the dating game, too, these days? Do they have their own dating sites, too? I never "dated" my husband, much less a day care mother.
The psych eval is triggering far more future fear than past trauma. I've been through enough psych evals that those herstorical answers are more rote than my birthday. My birthday math is getting kinda to be more challenge than I care to do on the fly. Answering the question intended for middle aged couples is a stark reminder of the unexplored challenges of starting a second parenting career at age 65. That's some birthday math to fry brain synapses.
Neither Hubs and I believe the adoption is a long-term solution. Neither of us, nor the caseworkers we have discussed it with believe we can do it alone nor fully expecting to both live long enough. lucidly enough to see these young orphans through college. The strongest belief behind the adoption drive is that getting The State out of the equation will open far more options than working The System. Hell. . . I canae even understand what a play date for a four year old is, much less the growing needs between 4 and 24. Donae particular want to, either. Parents havenae gotten any easier to talk to since I came to be older than your average parent.
Hubs and I set the arbitrary deadline of this week for getting through the first wave of adoption paperwork. It isnae urgent, but we donae care to let the process drag out too long. Everything is done except for the 30 page psych eval. Hubs doesnae believe I should be choking so hard on it. I find myself wondering if we should hire a pro to do the psych eval for us. I kinda need to talk out some of these fears that aren't listed with the middle age conundrums of family life.
Sorting. . .
Replies
The new terminology for things can really suck..... I used to say I'm going over the Lynne's place and now it's called a play date.... Can you get someone from either your lawyers office or who you're working with re the adoptions to help you fill it in
I have always hated paper re forms.... I find that I just want to tear them up...… Big hug and deep breaths.... I hope that this will all be dealt with soon for all of your sakes sweetie.....xo
You take me back to my advanced psych screening I had to go through to finish my chaplaincy education after 3 years of grad school, two clinical internships, to get into my year long residency at the "pinnacle" of the whole process. You've probably read me mention here that it was 3 eight hour days of psych eval that felt about as insensitive to me as it sounds like this is feeling to you. You say, "I find myself wondering if we should hire a pro to do the psych eval for us." Hey, I can validate that for sure. If you decide you can get through those 30 pages, that's great. But if you decide to go that other way and hire a pro, I for one would certainly understand, arfie.
Yea, I thought of that, as well, Jan and still might inquire to that end. Still. . . This has been a rough enough ordeal for me that I feel like I could use a bit of more personal counseling to work through all the new ^its^ that have hit my plate.
Near as I can tell so far, setting up play dates is even more of a diplomatic nightmare than the hunt for Mister Right. I am wondering if it is more than a coincidence that Big Bro's social breakthrough happened with a family that barely speaks English. I donae feel intimate enough to ask yet, but I bet the new friend's parents don't know what the fuck a play date is, either.
Big Sis's school is all US homogenized and. . . Big Sis's social breakthrough is far more doubtful. I don't think my 21st century Momglish is up to par. Does I have to take Mom on the play date, too? Will I be volunteering to be her next ex? I so cofused. . .