FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
I have always wanted to know what is coming. (I'm sure it is since I never knew what to expect growing up)
My anxiety is taking over and I am feeling overwhelmed, tired and having difficulty trying to keep on going.
WORK- boss gave his notice last week. He is there 1 more week. We have a skeleton crew and every day someone has called off. I have been trying to do what I can to try to get us ahead (hell, caught up at this point) They have given us no word of who is coming (partly because they have noone) but my fear is that they will expect more ( and I already struggle with just 5 hr shifts)
INSURANCE - I called to give them my prefered provider and asked if I have Medicaid again. I was told I have a dual plan, so that means yes. Next day I get scripts and pay $80 ($70 was for 1 script. insulin name brand so not covered.) Checked my bank statement and I was billed the $175 from my SS check for part B prem. So I have paid $260 so far this month.
RENEW lease here_ More $ with less coming in. Plus Mom's birthday and anniverary of her death are coming up very soon.
You have no clue how it feels to be so disconnected and forced to keep plugging and unable to live where I want (being around other people) or do things I wanted to (and feel no longer able to) I'm tired , very sad and feeling like I just want to hide out at home and fade away.
Trying to hand things over to God and prayer but my faith seems to be waivering. Feeling lost
Replies
You sound like you’re feeling very overwhelmed. I get like this often. I don’t have great advice. But know you’re not alone. People care about you. And it will pass. Change is inevitable.. So some of this will surely pass just take it one day at a time and I know you said your faith is wavering but it’s ok to ask God for help anyways. Hugs.
Yes I know those feelings of disconnect....horrible feelings of loss and isolation so severe that I didn't want to live anymore..I just no I had to find relief somehow, somewhere. I began to read every spiritual book I could get my hands on. From all my readings, I discovered, we tend to put blocks in the communication link we all have with God. By blocks, I mean all your negative emotions.....Forgiveness of myself and others helped remove them. As long as I looked at myself as a victim, things would happen to me to reinforce my belief that I was a victim. Then I changed my perspective and I began looking at myself as abundant....feeling it and believing in it and then I had money coming from places I never expected! There is a universal law called the law of attention which says, "What we focus our attention on will grow and what we withdraw our attention from will fade away." It takes practice but It really works!
Hugs my friend. Bob has said it so well. Just sit back and look how far you have come. Yes, life can and will feel overwhelming at time. You are doing the best you can with what you have.
Hugs Kim, hope you can find some peace. Sit outside, close your eyes and be the moment. I’m going to be doing the same thing myself tomorrow. Had a week that took a lot of energy and I feel the need to take some time to listen to the birds.
I'm seconding what Bob write, I could never say it that beautifully.
Life is hard right now. It will get better. Prices are high, inflation is high, and for me also, medical stuff eats my lunch. I had to use GoodRX because my part D plan won't pay to up my medication that the doctor wrote a script for. How in the heck can an insurance company deny for that? Never had one that sucks like this one. And I am on a low dose to begin with. I even called and demanded an override to their denial and they said okay and then never put it in the system. This insurance company will be fired come open enrollment.
I am trying to just focus on the good in my life. I have to practice this daily. My friend has this plaque so I got it off amazon "I think I'll just be happy today!" and I read it daily and think about that message. I've been in a pain related low mood, or depression, all summer, all spring. There is a lot of crime where I live and a shooting outside my son's apartment (his unit) two nights ago. I had hoped he would move out, his rent has more than doubled in 5 years. We live in a formerly decent part of a big city. Husband and I talk about moving but honestly, it isn't that easy to just uproot ourselves.
Remember, and remind yourself daily, that you matter, you are worthy, and we can choose happiness for today. It is all a mind game. I also take taurine to help my brain overcome the low moods.
Remember one day at a time and counting on those blessings.
So true Queen. When I live in the moment and count my blessings all the F.E.A.R. (fake evidence appearing real) is gone. BIG HUG
Thank youuu Melt2020, HUGS… please stay hopeful for your true love!! You totally deserve it for yourself. I know I’m worthy and I tend to look for those qualities in others. Counting on you!! :)