fast food

Eating or not
I will admit here now that I absolutely have eating disorders.
Most of the time I do wonderful Fruits vegetables and grains.
But lately I have hit a roadblock.
 Since my mom doesn't cook anymore and my dad never could cook,
We are now eating fast food twice a day.
I am completely mortified by the situation.
 Do I starve and not eat at all or do I eat and then purge 15 min. later.
I am really scared of gaining weight because it will make it very difficult for me to move around and then I will lose total control of my life. I write this in my journal for others to see to let them know that they are not alone. For every step they take I take two. If you're reading this I'm sorry for its content, I'm just angry because making a decision on whether to eat or not seems so trivial.