family talk
We had a family talk last night with my younger bro, my older bro, mom, and my husband..... more family are flying in today so the house will start getting busier and we thought it was a good time to do it. The younger bro hasn't been very nice to anyone.... he has actually been acting pretty strange and like I said last week I think he needs psychiatric help. So we had to sit him down because I heard he is about to get fired, he also turned down a really good job offer that would pay double for the 1st 2 yrs and then pay $30 / hr after that, and he just bought a plane ticket to the philipnes to see some girl that he met on the internet a month ago. He plans on coming back he said, and we wanted to know how will he support himself because he can't live off me and Jeff since he will have no job. It isnt' right. We all told him to please talk to the VA (he is a veteran, too) and get help. We are so worried about him. He started yelling at me and told me he will never go to my wedding. But what can we do? I was ready to kick him out last night but before I could say it, he told us that he plans on moving out to sleep on the streets. We told him that people get stabbed on the streets and beaten on a daily basis. He said with anger "It would be better than trying to live here in this house with you!"
We tried to explain to him that we have done nothing but try to support, encourage, provide everything he needs, etc... and we just want a bright future for him. Keep in mind that he is 29 going on 30. A grown man who refuses to buy his own groceries or cook any food and mooches off of me and mom and now my new husband. He doesn't have a car so he uses our cars as he wants and half the time doesnt' fill it back up.
I was suposed to kick him out back in March when the mortgage paper work was settled (where he was removed from tittle and loan) but my mom and my husband talked me out of it and said to give him another chance (even though we have given him so many chances).
Well, he is threatening to move to the streets by Sat..... honestly I wont stop him. I wont hold his hand. I told him who to call and who to talk to. Even the Va will provide shelter for vets like him if he just talks to them. Apparently I'm some evil person in his mind so there is no getting through to him. He is sick.
Anyways,,, I am very excited about everyone getting here! We have been cleaing up the house, reorganizing it, got an extra table for everyone to eat Christmas dinner on, presents are starting to stack up, plans for the reception are coming together, ...... it's so exciting! YAY!!
On a down note, my back has been killing me.... I need to schedule a massage! We have also been having very high winds blowing the crap out of everything. IT's been tossing the mango tree around like a doll. I'm losing a lot of the small mangos and i"m getting nervous there won't be much left for harvest. This year has been a bad year for the mago tree. The high winds have knocked off so much of the mangos all year that we havn't had much harvest at all. Last year we had so much we had to donate a lot of mangos to people and to my church. lol
Ok well.... if I don't see you again....Have a merry Christmas and a blessed new year!
ps.... I don't think the world will end in a couple days do you? lol
We tried to explain to him that we have done nothing but try to support, encourage, provide everything he needs, etc... and we just want a bright future for him. Keep in mind that he is 29 going on 30. A grown man who refuses to buy his own groceries or cook any food and mooches off of me and mom and now my new husband. He doesn't have a car so he uses our cars as he wants and half the time doesnt' fill it back up.
I was suposed to kick him out back in March when the mortgage paper work was settled (where he was removed from tittle and loan) but my mom and my husband talked me out of it and said to give him another chance (even though we have given him so many chances).
Well, he is threatening to move to the streets by Sat..... honestly I wont stop him. I wont hold his hand. I told him who to call and who to talk to. Even the Va will provide shelter for vets like him if he just talks to them. Apparently I'm some evil person in his mind so there is no getting through to him. He is sick.
Anyways,,, I am very excited about everyone getting here! We have been cleaing up the house, reorganizing it, got an extra table for everyone to eat Christmas dinner on, presents are starting to stack up, plans for the reception are coming together, ...... it's so exciting! YAY!!
On a down note, my back has been killing me.... I need to schedule a massage! We have also been having very high winds blowing the crap out of everything. IT's been tossing the mango tree around like a doll. I'm losing a lot of the small mangos and i"m getting nervous there won't be much left for harvest. This year has been a bad year for the mago tree. The high winds have knocked off so much of the mangos all year that we havn't had much harvest at all. Last year we had so much we had to donate a lot of mangos to people and to my church. lol
Ok well.... if I don't see you again....Have a merry Christmas and a blessed new year!
ps.... I don't think the world will end in a couple days do you? lol
Replies
First, no I think we\'ll all still be here come Saturday LOL
I\'m sorry things are so hard with your brother. I wish I knew what to say - if he won\'t participate in his own treatment then you have really done all you can do, and more than most people would.
Hope your holidays and your family gatherings are all wonderful - I know how hard you\'ve worked to make it all come together.
See you in the New Year!
So sorry to hear all the extra stress you are having in your life. Sometimes you can\'t help someone, they have to help theirselves. Tough love. Your brother isn\'t in his teens and you have done more then enough.
Time to celebrate your marriage, family and friends. Put your brother on the back burner. It\'s not being harsh maybe a wake up call for him to grow up.
Sounds like he is seeking attention, if he threatens to move to the streets again just make a casual remark \" be glad we don\'t have snow and tell him where the homeless shelter is located for free meals.
Tough love is what some need to wakeup.
Now enjoy your life, that\'s an order lol
Im with Magic and Peace above, both gave such wonder advice,,Magic cracks me up with...Enjoy your life that\'s an order!...Lol :)
Beautiful things are in stored for such nice people that go up and beyond the call of duty.... and you have! for your brother.
May Peace and Comfort fill your home this Christmas and Always.
G-Hugs!....Look for ya in the NEW YEAR or in a couple days :)
Thank you for your kind support, it means so much to me right now... I\'m just trying to get by from one day to the next with out more drama happening. I would like to put him on the back burner but it\'s more complicated that that.... my mom lives with us and she has fought depression for 60 years, has bipolar, and PTSD from abuse and from when she was kidnapped back in 06. My younger brother says mean things to her and makes her cry a lot. And lately she has been crying every day. So as much as I\'d like to IGNORE him, it\'s a little hard when my mom is sobbing on a daily basis. This is why I was ready to throw him out last night and not another minute later. And another reason I couldn\'t care less if he sleeps on the streets or runs off to the philipines. But mom has been crying about his threats and its making her sick. She can\'t seem to let go of him and let him grow up to learn on his own... or just get out on iis to seek the help he needs. But with her past of abuse she doesn\'t know any better. She thinks being abused is NORMAL. (sigh).... it\'s a sad thing.
I can\'t wait to move on to a happier chapter in out lives.... we do plan to move to another island next year... and younger bro isn\'t in the plan. So whether he likes it or not, he has to figure out his own path starting now.
Thanks for being there, folks.... you all are awesome.....
I\'m just trying to take it one day at a time here and not get a flare from all this.
God bless and have a wonderful holiday season! may your new year be a huge blessing to you!! xoxoxo