Family Conference Update

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 – 9:30 A.M. Yesterday was a busy one for me, but at least I got a few things accomplished.  In the morning I saw my mental health therapist (Dale), and in the afternoon,  I saw my primary care physician, as well as his social worker.   Dale and I discussed the family conference I had with my brother and sister.  I told him I had not been happy about it, and had even gotten to the point where I became angry with both of them.   He said that he and my psychologist had briefly discussed the conference, after we left, and that they had felt the meeting went well.  He also said that most of the meeting had gone on a straight course until about ten minutes before the meeting ended.  That was when Dale asked me if I had anything to say.   Dale stated that he thought everyone in the room was shocked when I suddenly took control of the conversation and made what he termed as "a right turn" away from the direction that my brother and sister had been coming from.   He said he felt that I did the right thing in finally speaking out for myself and questioning my family about what became of my house back in Virginia.   I spoke with Dale for nearly forty-five minutes, trying to tell him about the anger that I still have within me toward both my brother and sister.  I did say that I thought most of it was directed at my brother, and that I felt we had a love-hate relationship.   Dale said he thought it was time to we had another family conference.  I said that I was not so sure of that.  He then suggested that he my brother and I meet together -- just the three of us.  I said that I was no longer sure that I wanted to continue talking about family relationships, because I did not know in which direction, if any, I wanted to go.  I said that I was considering just dropping the whole thing.  Upon hearing this, Dale asked me to meet with him again next Monday.  I agreed to do that.   After leaving the meeting with Dale, I went to my primary care physician's office for an appointment at 2:20 PM.  I got there nearly an hour and a half early, which gave me time to see his social worker who filled out several forms I had received with which to apply for recertification with Access-A-Ride.   The appointment with my physician went well, and he had already received the results of my emergency room visit last Friday.  I told him that I had liked everyone at the hospital very much, and if I needed to go to a hospital again, I would want to go there.   I then said that I needed to talk with him about my physical therapy appointments.  I told him that Medicare would not pay for my pool therapy, and that that my physical therapist had told me the hospital would never send me a bill for the pool therapy, but would just write it off.   My doctor decided to give me another prescription for six more weeks of pool therapy, with my going there twice a week.  I tried telling him that I felt uncomfortable taking advantage of the hospital like that.  He said he thought that it was up to the people running the hospital to decide whether to continue allowing me to get my pool therapy there or not, and that he did not feel I should feel guilty about it.   When I go to my physical therapy appointment tomorrow, I will give my therapist the prescription from my doctor and let her decide whether I should keep receiving the pool therapy there or not.  Even if she says no, I will not put up an argument considering how much she has helped me throughout the past year.   Quotes for Hope: “There are seldom, if ever, any hopeless situations, but there are many people who lose hope in the face of some situations.”   -- Zig Ziglar

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

\"He said he felt that I did the right thing in finally speaking out for myself and questioning my family about what became of my house back in Virginia.\"

Echo??? Maybe I didn\'t say it but I know some on your friends list did.

\"Dale said he thought it was time to we had another family conference. I said that I was not so sure of that. He then suggested that he my brother and I meet together -- just the three of us. I said that I was no longer sure that I wanted to continue talking about family relationships, because I did not know in which direction, if any, I wanted to go.\"

I get that. Still, I wonder if it would help your siblings to know about the sexual abuse you endured. From how you\'ve told it, your brother seems to have a proclivity for pointing out your past substance abuse.

Has he ever bothered to ask why you felt you needed substances... What you\'ve been through is sure something I would want to numb out of my skull.

I read your journal today though, and just beamed at how far you\'ve come since we met here. You survived being angry. You survived a meeting. You survived trips to the hospital.

I don\'t think you realize how much your tone has changed in over a year. You definitely don\'t like those things; who would? But you coped so much better. Your journal today was measured, precise, and thought-full.

YOU. DID. GOOD.

Love ya Wheelman!
Hugs and Mojo
Weebs
deleted_user
deleted_user

I don\'t think you realize how much your tone has changed in over a year. You definitely don\'t like those things; who would? But you coped so much better. Your journal today was measured, precise, and thought-full.

YOU. DID. GOOD.

I have been very fortunate to get excellent suggestions and support from countless numbers of friends here at Daily Strength. I listen to what everyone has to say, process it, and then try to fit in the pieces that I feel will work best for me. So far, everything has been falling into place.

And lest I forget, there is a certain DRAGONLADY, who flitters around me tossing lots of mojo my way. She even lets me rejuvenate myself by sitting beneath her mojo tree.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Weebs is on FIRE today! WELL SAID WEEBS!

It\'s been my experience that my siblings don\'t wanna know the sexual abuse I\'ve endured. They have their own addiction issues so I don\'t count on them to understand me or my issues. It\'d be nice if they could, mind you.

I\'m glad Dale is paying attention to this stuff, Jim. You seem to be way better at looking out for yourself now.

If the therapist says no, can I put up an arguement for you?
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks to those of you here, as well as to Dale and Dr. Martin, I am reconsidering my position regarding the money from my brother and sister. I need to make sure that they will not patronize me or make me feel as though I am receiving a gift from them. If I can accomplish that, I will probably agree to accept their offer. As everyone keeps telling me, they do owe it to me.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think that is what angers me most about your brother. The patronizing. He has zero clue as to who you are, which is a strong, smart, and very very capable person. How did he get so far off the mark? Is he one of those \"I talk, you listen\" types?
deleted_user
deleted_user

Awww... thanks folks.

I was on fire? And here I just thought it was a hot flash.......

LOLOL!

Hugs and Mojo
Weebs