Family!

Well, let me just say to myself "I told you so." 
I knew this was going to happen.  Trying to make a long story short, we had redone our kitchen before in our old house and were doing this one over.  We went to Home Depot before and bought Kraftmaid cabinets and the the designer there designed it for us and it was beautiful!  That kitchen really is what sold our house.  All the comments we got, we KNOW that is what sold the house.  So here we go again.  My brother brags for over a year about how he can get me a better deal through his guy (he is a contractor.)  And he told me he needed jobs as he was hurting for money. A lot of people backed out of projects.  So we get initial design from Home Depot.  He comes down, measures and gets design from his guy.  He did give us some really good advice and the original design was modified.  We agreed to pay him $300/day for his labor.  So between the window, the kitchen and some other work, we were figuring 2 weeks, which comes out to $3000.  No problem.  But his guy's quote came in $2000 more!  And that is not including 6% sales tax and shipping!  (his supplier is in PA, which has 6% sales tax.  We live in DE with no sales tax.  So buying from his guy is another $780 vs buying from Lowes or Home Depot in DE.)  So this is almost $3000 difference! 
It turned out to be lots of screaming and cursing last night.  He called us liars and backstabbers.  he has a right to make money, blah, blah, blah.  It got mean and hurtful.  He makes a big deal about how family is important to him.  And I told him he is siding with a business acquaintance over his own sister.  If he was a few hundred dollars more, we would have gone with him and just paid it.  He yells about how he has to make money.  Well whether we order from Home Depot or his guy, he is still making $3,000 off us!  How could he say he is not making money? 
I was so afraid this was going to happen.  He really needs the money and I would just as soon give it to him.  We even asked him if he wanted to do the floor and we would pay him labor for that too!  The agreement from the beginning was that we wanted to pay for our own supplies/materials.  (Paul wants the miles on the credit card.) 
I am so hurt and so frustrated.  Appliances are coming in end of July and now no cabinets ordered.  I told Paul, just go to Lowes and order them.  I told my brother last night in a text that he owed us an apology.  Hopefully, if he comes around by the end of July when the stuff comes in, he can still install the cabinets and make the money.  Otherwise I will have to hire someone else.  For that matter, my husband can do it.  he and his cousin did the last house.  It just took him months. 
Ugh!  here we go again!  I should learn my lesson not to mix family with money.  But we have the money and he needed the work. 

Replies

JoyceMarilyn
JoyceMarilyn

Yeppers - keep family and business separate. If you have a problem with something you will have more sucess with a company than a friend of family. Hopfully all will work out well in the end.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I understand. At our new house we had a friend of a friend do the tile in the kitchen and laundry room. He did great with the tile but damaged some drywall and scratched up our hard wood floors in the dining room and messed up the crown molding when he moved the cabinets. Jim was so upset and probably will never have anyone do the jobs that he can do - it\'s just that he didn\'t have time ... sometimes it\'s not worth the aggrevation when your trying to help people out. Sorry about the situation, hopefully it all will work out. Hugs, it all will work out!!!
Kahlua13
Kahlua13

I had to turn my phone off. he kept sending me nasty texts.
deleted_user
deleted_user

True that Yvette...NEVER mix family and business! I did it once. My BIL told me and my EX he would do a job for us free of charge, in front of my parents and all. My sister was the one handling the cash end of their business and she called me up furious that we expected the work done for free (this was after the job was done) and I told her what happened and what he said...and my parents backed me up. It was YEARS before our relationship healed. The thing is if he had just told me to call her for a price or quoted me an actual price I would have based my decision to use his services on that price!

Also, sounds as if your brother\'s friend is tacking some extra cash onto the bill to line his own wallets and gave you that low quote to get your business. He probably knew all along that the bill would wind up being 2x what he originally told you. Your brother should have given you his name and number and stayed out of it from there.
GirlAtHeart
GirlAtHeart

Sorry that you had to deal with this. We once had a friend of a friend (who is in construction, mind you) come over to remodel our bathrooms because he was low on work.

After messing up our cabinets, improperly installing tile with no backer board and scratching our new bathtub, we decided to fire him nicely.

We said it wasn\'t working out, and paid him beyond what we owed him up to that point. He cursed us out on our driveway and said he hoped bad things would happen to us! I realized it was just his ego, pride and wallet talking. He was a jerk - yes - but I know he was upset because work was scarce and he needed the money. Still -- We weren\'t going to pay someone for a very bad job.

We didn\'t blame our friend for his friend\'s bad work, but I now think we should have never mixed business that way. Same way for family.

I\'m sure your brother overreacted x100 because he\'s fearful on the money end. Still, it was out of line and I do believe he owes you an apology. Did he yell at your husband the same way he screamed at you? Just wondering.

You are the customer right now - not the sister. A budget is a budget. If you can\'t afford the increased price, then you can\'t have him do the job, period. It\'s so unfair of your brother to treat you like this. Hope he straightens up!
yoohoolouie
yoohoolouie

I hear you. It\'s no good if you don\'t hire family and no good if you do hire family. Tough situation. Well, just stay calm and stand your ground. He\'ll come around when/if he grows up ;)
Don\'t mix food/cigarettes and family. That\'s what I always say, ha ha.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Urgh, how terrible for you! It\'s tough when money and family clash! Hopefully, after awhile he will calm down and realize how inappropriate he was. Take care!
ZECILKL
ZECILKL

That was a very stressful situation.

Sorry your brother is so upset at something so silly.
You are the customer this is a job. IF the budget is not what was quoted and you cant afford it you can\'t do it. What does your brother want you do go into debt. or worse yet not pay the guy after he does the work. If this was a stranger and they said \"this is above our budget we can\'t do it\" the gentleman and your brother(does he work with this person) would just walk away.

Good luck with your brother.

have a great week.