Fall Is Coming Soon

Now with the kids back in school and the weather being so nice and cool, it really is feeling as though I'm getting stronger while starting to lighten up with life.  Ever since my husband and I moved to the Twin Cities back in 1997, it seems to have gotten more and more hectic and serious over the years.  I don't know how much of it was the area, the times in our lives (with jobs, kids, etc.) or circumstances (husband's health, his passing, my parents' passing, raising kids on my own, etc.).  Anyways, I guess as I get older, I am less interested in what people think so much as to respecting my own life more.  I always wanted to fit in, but the harder I tried, the worse it became (and being widowed at 38 certainly didn't help matters!). 
 
I've finally graduated from college and now have my Bachelors Degree in Business, and I'm just trying to relax this year before going back to work.  Still trying to figure out what jobs would suit me best and just calming down more.  My oldest son is graduating from high school this year and is looking forward to college.  So hard to believe the kids are getting so big!  The youngest one is in his last year of elementary school, and he's doing much better with his autism and ulcerative colitis.   He loves swimming and is starting saxophone this year.  Very proud of both of them. 
 
I've always prided myself and trying to be intelligent, but sometimes, I am clueless when it comes to juggling so many different things.  Dating was a disaster - I learned a lot from it, though.  A little embarrassed by my ignorance and letting some guy get the better of me - 20 years ago, I wouldn't have even given him the time of day or punched him in the face.  I've been a caretaker for far too long and have to own up to that.  Maybe someday my face-punching instincts will come back, but for now, I have my kids to think about and my own life to move forward on.  I want friends - not more children in my life.