Faith in the Blinding Glare

I work to build immunity to my phobias. High wattage lights remain my biggest. I build my immunity from the soft light outside their limits, carefully avoiding direct exposure to their glaring sources. However much I am told it is no more than my own psychosis, I still feel physical pain in my eyes from prolonged exposure. I still believe I can see further from the shadows than I can see inside the halos of light. Carefully positioning myself away from the source, I can see the activity outside the glare almost as easily as I can see the well lit activities. When I stand inside the artificial light, I can only see to the limits of the light. You could hide an army just outside the edge of the light and I would not see it.
In recent nights the moon has been bright enough to wash away the shadows of the neighborhood security lights. The now familiar feeling of crumbling memory blocks has been inviting me to remember the possible, yet unconfirmable memories of childhood nights spent in fields of unknowable locations. The full moon deeply affected the life around me in those fields. Frenzied activity abounded.
it is not possible to know if these memories are real. In today's glaring nights, it is not even possible to do a comparative study. There are no more dark or sacred nights. Gentle star light lives beyond the edge of security lights.