failure vs. it's a process

Hi - Why don't I tell my group that "I relapsed" instead of "I failed again" and feel all this shame, shame, shame, and become that little girl again who was taught that she was naughty, bad, dirty. Remember that this is a process and SI isn't all of who I am.  I'm also highly intuitive, musically gifted, racket sports, and theatrically talented.  It's time for bed and I want to harm so bad to get some relief. Is there anyone out there who feels similarly??