Failing to find balance

I've tried my best on not contacting him at all, it's frustrating and I feel so silly staring at my phone, I should know by now that if he wanted to talk to me he would've already done it, but still, I'm trying to stay positive and thankful that every day I'm a little closer to forgive, forget and move on, but all the sadness I've been dragging around is now affecting everything else in my life. 
I know this isn't the end of the world but I failed a test. Like a really important one. I can't focus on anything while being so miserable.
I only wish I could remember every single thing Keynes said about Macroeconomy the same way I remember every single detail of his face. *Sigh*