failed again
I tried to start my day by spending time training each of the dogs but as soon as I mentioned some of how I was going to do that boyfriend started in on saying they didn't need that, blah, blah blah. Somehow he ended up yelling at me every minute he wasn't texting me. I tried to express I did not feel emotionally or financially supported and that it didn't seem to matter to him. So instead I started getting blamed for everything. I tried working with the cats but that too of course was a failure. I was showing the new cat the dog that was on the other side of the baby gate and holding her in my lap...and we were down the hall so hopefully she wouldn't be too worried, though she really didn't want to leave the bedroom in the first place. Well a few minutes into it the dog jumps the gate so I toss her in the bedroom and shut the door. Since boyfriend was talking other dog for a walk I would try some training with the other. She refused completely and went and laid down.
So now I got no progress with any of the pets, probably worse with half of them and I hide in my room praying I don't have to say anything to the boyfriend. I really hate how he acts so awful then comes down offering me lunch or a drink. Apparently I'm not a good pet parent or girlfriend. It's sad that I feel as lonely and miserable as I did near the end of my marriage, but at least then we just didn't speak to each other.
So now I got no progress with any of the pets, probably worse with half of them and I hide in my room praying I don't have to say anything to the boyfriend. I really hate how he acts so awful then comes down offering me lunch or a drink. Apparently I'm not a good pet parent or girlfriend. It's sad that I feel as lonely and miserable as I did near the end of my marriage, but at least then we just didn't speak to each other.
Replies
You are a good pet mommy. The problem is you have more than you can handle. It is really hard to take care of rescues, they have all been through so much and each one has a special set of needs. I can see you know that because I see you trying to recognize them all but you are only one person. At this point your boyfriend isn\'t helping because it is causing inconsistency which just confuses them.
I am worried about you. I have a few questions:
Do you take meds?
Are you seeing a counselor ?
Can you downsize your animal family? Do you have friends at the shelter that see your pain and take back some of the animals?
I know it goes against every part of you to do so, I know how this feels.
When I had my first baby I went absolutely nutty. I was scared to death. I had a high energy border collie mix and three cats. I could not responsibly take care of the dog. He needed more than I could give. It was the first time in my life that I learned care taking sometimes meant I had to take care of myself first. I had to rehome him. It killed me and once it was done it was obvious I did the right thing. You work at the shelter and you can still see them and help find good homes for them. I am not trying to preach to you, these are still your choices to make. I won\'t judge you either way. My hope is that you take care of yourself first.
One more thing that I have learned animals and kids are probably the most intuitive of creatures. I also have depression and anxiety when it is mostly in check everything goes pretty smoothly, when I don\'t take care of myself it is total chaos. If you are not in check it is really hard to train a dog. This is why I think having one dog and maybe one cat would be better (or less) it would be much more manageable and you will see how amazing you really are. Hugs hon, here if you need me.
Thanks Jupiter3. I do take meds but I really feel I need higher doses. I have sent my info in to a clinic (teaching hospital) to see if they will get me a new psychiatrist and therapist. I am not currently seeing a counselor but have realized I do need one. As for the pets...I could try to find one cat a new home, and that was part of the plan if she refused to get along with my other cat. I can\'t take her back because I saved her from being euthanised. My boyfriend is the same as me and won\'t return an animal so for the dogs we have to work together, which for some reason decided that was a good idea today (duh!). I do have someone at the shelter that understands my love for these animals and I have talked to her on several occasions about it. If my depression doesn\'t get better in a few days I will have to call my old clinic and get someone to approve me increasing my meds.
I can see why you can\'t bring them back, most of our shelters up here are no kill. I guess if you ever needed to you would have to rehome them, some rescues will help you get the word out while you hold onto them. I couldn\'t have brought my dog back either. I felt much better finding him a home that I liked. How is the training going? I know a good book if you need one. I also have a tough canine nut to crack right here on the bed next to me. He\'s been a lot of work but I love him. He was headed to the chambers too when a rescue up here snatched him up. What are your dogs mixes or do you know(sometimes its hard to tell). Good luck with the therapist, hang in there and keep reaching out, you\'ll get through it.
That does sound like progress! IMO cats can be worse than dogs for behavior modification. Our dog is a hound terrier mix. His manners have gotten a lot better, we got him at 8 mos and he is two now. He has fear issues too. He tends to act out aggressively though. It has been a lot to recondition him but ge is mostly there. He has never hurt anybody he just acts mean if he is scared. Good luck with it all. Glad you are having a better day :-)