Facing difficulty

I haven't posted much about this on DS because I've been processingit privately for some time, but this has been a very difficult week because of a sudden and severe risk involving my father. My dad has always been there (he and my mom have been married longer than I've been alive), but not always the most emotinoally warm and open of fathers. He tries, but he's limited by the past of his own upbringing by a very cold, harsh father. When my dad makes a clumsy effort to chat, visit, or spend time with me, it's always more significant than it would seem to any outsider who didn't understand how difficult and awkward that is for him. This week, my dad went into the hospital for major emergency heart surgery--starting with a triple bypass. This left him in severe pain, and it still didn't correct his heart problems, so he underwent a second surgery for a pacemaker. At this time he is stable, but his entire left side is immobilized and he will be in a left-side cast for six weeks. My mom, who is diabetic and has congestive heart failure, is also his caretaker during this process (I am 700 miles away). Dad can hardly talk on the phone, and I've only spoken to him once through all of this; when I do call he declines the call because he is so lethargic from pain medication. Election day was bittersweet because although the results thrileld me, it was the same day as my dad's surgery. I get frequent reassurances from mom that things are okay, but this is more severe than she will acknowledge to me. I nearly lost my father this week. I've needed to lean on friends because of ths stress and fear I've felt. Somehow, though, words on a screen which have alwyas meant so much to me on DS are insufficient for me just now; I've been wanting the "personal" friendship during this crisis--the actual voice, the actual person who understands and empathizes. At work I pour energy into comforting and nutruting the needs of a room full of hurt people, but at the end of that I am exhausted and I need the same invested support back for me. It's not appropriate for a therapist to bring his personal family issues into the group, so I've had to lead group each day with my own fears and stresses "set aside" as if nothing is different, focusing outwardly on the needs of my clients. I'm slowly emptying, though, and I know things can't continue at this same pace.