Face the world alone;

Well, Im 19 years old, and Ive been through a lot these past 2 years.From going to a piece of shit hick town in the middle of nowhere where ive experienced lots of bullshit events that have resulted in the person i have become today.Well lets see where do i began, what has happened iin the part two years not that anyone will give a shit or that anyone will read this, i dont mean to sound negative but its the awful truth.First thing that happened to me in the past two years was my dropping out of high school, that was the biggest mistake that i have ever done it pushed me back and messed me up. About 6 months after dropping out of high school, i lost my best friend Danielle, because of my depression and anxiety.It hurt me so bad because we were like sisters, you know doing things together all of the time like going shopping, going to six flags, concerts, staying at each other houses an... It hurt me so bad to lose her it felt like i lost a family member, a sister.Life was so unbearable around that time getting into constant fights with my aunt, staying on the computer with no end in sight which messed me up. I would talk to this girl Caitlin about all of my problems, because i had no one else or no one wanted to listen to me complain about how i was depressed and didnt have any friends, or complain about how i dropped out of school and no one wanting to hear about it anymore, than i wanted to talk about it. I remember not wanting to leave the house forany reason, not even going  to my guitar lessons, even though my guitar teacher Sue would listen to me and try and giive me advice on what to do when i felt anxious, or when i felt like shit all the time. It helped a bit  but wasnt enough to get me out of the house more than i didnt, but i lover my guitar teacher Sue, she was awesone and i appreciated her advice when she gave it to me.My life went like this, go to bed, get up in the afternoon, go on the computer, eat and then go back on the computer go back to bed, it was the same thing everyday. In this whole process i went to two different counselers, the first one i only went to twice because she wasnt a good one at all, and then my aunt found,Jaime. My first session included my aunt and i didnt like it very well i would get aggravated, because i wanted Jaime's attention, and felt that i wasnt getting enough (sounds selfish i know), but i needed it.Jaime was awesome, she helped she was like a rock for me, my  very own support system, i loved going to her sessions.Well going to her sessions helped me so much it got me to thinking "Hmm, maybe i should go back to school".One day i was out with my aunt and her boyfriend Ralph i brought up going back to school,. The look on my aunts face was surprised that i even considered it. seeing that that school was a hell holeI decided to just take the bull by the horns and go for it. It wasnt easy at all sense i didnt like going outside or anything in that nature. But i did it, i went back to school, a school where nobody liked me , a school whete i didnt fit in a school where i was the minority i went back for my education. and to change my life for the better, and to take the right turn and go down the right path, but that was easier said than done living with an anxiety disorder, along with severe depression. But i tried.I met some friends and i had old ones from the year before that kind of still talked to me, like Martina and Nicole.And the friends i did meet were Shannon, Hannah, Sharin, an... Shannon and Hannah were awesome. Shannon was just that type of  person that could always keep a smile on your face no matter what she always made me laugh, and brought my spirits up.And then Hannah was a interesing person, who loved the whole J-Rock music scene and who would make me laugh over stupid and retarded things, shes was funny and interesting,They were good friends and yeah i was always looking for a good friend. I went from having great friends and having them stick up fgor me , especially when i almost got jumped by 4 people in the hallway, to having them change there back on me over a stupid boy problem.His name was Luis, he was Puerto Rican, he had beautiful skin complection, it was carmel colored. He has the most beautiful brown eyes like chocolate brown, a  sweet smile that lite up my life. he was a sweet person. I dated him for about 3 months, i actually loved him with all my heart, i really did. There was something about him that made him different from  most guys, he was a year young than i, he was a break dancer, and he also did Tai Kwon Do, he was a pro at what he did and i looked up to him a lot. I remember going to his house after school, we lived like 10 minuets away from each other so it was easy for us to see each other, i remember playing guitar Hero with him. It was so much fun he always beat me, because of course i sucked at that game but it was all good it was fun just being around him. Seeing him smile was like seeing heaven down on earth.