Faith

Lord, I'm tired of fighting.  I know I'm not alone, and there are times I do feel lonely.  I only know I have to put my faith in you and allow you to lift me up and give me strength.
I've told you what my heart's desire is, how I want to keep my home and be comfortable in it and in my own skin.  I also want to keep my last name - nothing more to be said or explained about that.
There is so much fear, so much sadness, and yes, sometimes, so much pain.  There are very few people I can talk to, for after two years it is presumed I am supposed to be doing very well and over it.  How can I be over losing my husband?  My life partner?  I hold him dear to my heart, which is where that love belongs. 
The daily walks I take help greatly.  We talk and talk and talk.  I talk to you, I talk to Dick.  I look so forward to those walks, you have no idea. 
Lord, give me peace and understanding.  Take away my fears.  Let me be the person I want to be in this life, without fear that you are going to do something drastic because you feel what is best.  Like taking away my home, taking away my last name.  Please Lord, give me strength and guidance.