Extra Sad
Today seems difficult for me. I feel extra saddened. Yesterday I made a makeshift memorial marker where we buried Peanut. Just some of my stones I got from the beach and made a heart out of it. We are going to purchase a nice stone engraved with a photo of a parrot and message and plant something but it felt like it was too empty. It was strange. For a few weeks before Peanut’s passing we had all these birds come to the window to look at Peanut and they made a nest under our patio awning. They were there last night, TONS of them. Maybe that is what saddens me, I had to tell them Peanut doesn’t live here anymore but my husband put a lot of seed by where she is buried so the birds and squirrels visit her. I thought the lack of routine would be a new routine and that it would get better but I just feel empty, extra empty today. I feel like I have been on vacation away from her and she will be home soon though I know she won’t.
Steph
Steph
Replies
I\'m sorry you feel so bad. It\'s interesting about the birds coming to see Peanut a few weeks before his passing. You\'ve had Peanut for years and they never did this before? Perhaps they came to help him on his journey. The birds visiting could be there to help you on your journey?
It\'s easy to fool the mind for a time, then everything comes flooding back. I\'ve lived in denial on and off since I lost Lady. I think it\'s a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from having a complete breakdown. It\'s been almost 4 months for me and I feel worse now than I did a few weeks ago, but thankfully nothing like I did initially. I didn\'t move any of her things (other than her food and finding a place to donate her meds). When I moved her step to hop on the couch I lost it. Perhaps if you keep some of Peanut\'s things around you won\'t feel so empty.
Hugs
Nancy xoxo
We have TONS Of photos on the wall of peanut we havent taken down. I have collages of photos of her and I. I havent removed them. Just her cage, tree, and toys. The birds always have been in our yard, we have food and a bird bath. The birds even nested before in our awning. Just the past few weeks theyve been staring into the kitchen window.