extension number ? i dunno..i'm losing track at this point
Well I was in a pretty good mood until about now. I kept the money worrying out of my mind out for the most part all month..I put it off until the last minute, I kept it in the back of my mind, the worst part of the worrying anyways. I still thought about it the productive part I kept that in the fore front by going to RI to try and sell some of my stuff, no bites yet, but I'm still hopeful. But now after my long term disability people have now told me their sending me yet another 30 day extension letter I'm yet again in tears, when is this ever gonna end. I'm back to shutting my bedroom door so my gram doesn't see me cry. Scribbling down figures trying to figure out how I'm gonna make it yet again, so sucks. I was mentally doing so well too. I'm not as bad as I once was don't get me wrong..I never want to be that way again..never never never..I swore to myself that would never happen. I'm just sad that I feel like these extensions are just never gonna freaking end like these people are literally just busting my balls or something, like they get their kicks off of it or something. What the hell am I gonna do? I only have so much stuff to sell? And my meds are running out, I have taxes and bills to pay, I can't ask my dad cause he's getting laid off in 2 weeks. I have no rides for my doc appts this week and I have to somehow get there..I'm tempted to drive myself, I can but I'm not supposed to but should just do it but can't afford the gas, ugh!..gotta love this vicious cycle of life....God sometimes life just isn't fair.
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So sorry you are having such tremendous financial stress on top of the injury. I will send you a private msg as well.
I hate hearing all of this, but I am thankful that you are sharing and hopefully I can add some optimism and hope for you. I know these days. I had many, many months of these exact struggles and all I know is you are progressing. people are very undependable and not understanding. they don\'t get it. we do. I get you totally and I know when God is all you have left, He is ALL YOU NEED. what I did was just focus on what you can control. you\'re in my thoughts and prayers and I know each problem will be solved and you will get through them. you are getting better each day.
I am so sorry daily life is adding stress. Sometimes the mountain of it all seems insurmountable. One thing that has always gotten me through, a question my father always used to ask me: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Thanks guys (I apologize I can never remember everyones names)..It meant alot that you took the time to talk to me today even though you felt like crap Elanie :) I do hope you feel better soon!
Songwriter, I will do my best and just worry about what I can control, I think taking things day by day is what I need to do for now, just some days it just gets so overwhelming at times that I just break down and then I tend to write here and it helps. But I know in my heart and mind its only temporary but its still tough, I just wish I didn\'t have all this financial trouble cause then mentally I\'d be so much stronger health wise if that makes any sense at all. Cause I think it slow me down a bit. There\'s some days where I fight with myself just to get out of bed. I can\'t go anywhere since I can\'t afford to go anywhere so that\'s one reason but its just tough. I don\'t know if I\'m making sense but I know what I have to do, its just a daily struggle sometimes but I know if I put my mind to it I will get there. I just have to have faith. But thank you.
Oneid1hrn, I\'ve been meaning to ask, where did you get that screen name? lol but it\'s true what your dad said, it seems like a huge feat with the elephant story..but you just have to go at it one bite at a time, there\'s not much more to it than that. Just with everything else I have to sit back and control my breathing sometimes and relax and that helps calm me down and then I can think clearer. I think sometimes we\'re our worst critic too. I tend to think well maybe I should of or could of done this or that but in reality, it is what it is. I am only one person, and I know I try as hard as I can. No one is helping me but me. And I have to give myself the credit I deserve. It\'s hard to do..but I do it. So thank you all for being there for me. I truly appreciate your kind words and encouragement :) Love ya!