Excruciating Depression

Only a couple of weeks ago I was riding high on a great hypomania.  Today I am pulled the other way into the dregs of depression.  I've done everything right.  I've taken my meds, eliminated sweets 99%.  Avoiding processed foods.  I have missed the gym for 2 weeks due to major work being done in my house.  But I can't say this wouldn't have happened anyway even if i went.
I'm beyond tired, I feel mental, emotional and physical pain.  I want to go back to bed, but I won't.  The workers left my bathroom floor gummy and some kind of hard substance.  I'm going to pull up from my life force and tackle that floor, section by section, as long as I can manage.  If it makes me work off some pain--hurrah!  If it depletes my needed reserves to protect myself from harm--back to bed.  I can't live like this and not fight.  To not fight, for me, is to give up.  If I give up, which in my gut is what I want to do, I will spiral down those last millimeters into the dregs of despair and end it all.
I don't believe it's acceptable in God's sight.  My husband, 3 sons, daughter-in-law and 2 grandsons would be devastated.  Plus, too many, 4 family members on my side, have already taken their lives.  I have to break that cycle to protect my kids as best I can.
I wish I could just drug myself up and sleep it off, but that's not my approach to life--why not?  Why do I always have to battle it out?
The pain in killing me.  I'm going to take 0.5 mg klonopin, have my coffee, and try to do some work.  Perhaps tomorrow, things will lift.