Exactly where I need to be

Well, I organized a hike with the local hiking group yesterday, and nobody came.   So I went alone.  The reason no one came was because the day before, there was another one in the Badlands, 2 hours away.  So I understand.  I wouldn't want to go either if I drove that far the day before.   And I didn't go to that one myself because I had too many choices.   There was a Volksmarch at one of my favorite hiking trails just outside of town and a Harvest Fest downtown - all of these at the same time.   I chose to go to the Harvest Fest, more for financial reasons.   I had enough crafts from last year's shows to put together a booth, and my budget was showing I was short $150.00 on my next check....
And it turned out to be a very good thing I did it.  I made just enough to completely cover my bills for the month.   A turnout way better than I was hoping for and I had a great time people watching.   It was like a parade of "who's who" in town... people like me shopping for a great deal... all my dog park friends who were using the event to socialize together (they told me they missed seeing me at the park - I'd kept my dogs away for 3 weeks due to Kennel Cough)... and some people just pacing back and forth with a purebred dog in their arms like it was some kind of status symbol (rolling my eyes) as they bragged about what kennel they bought it at...   And as I sat there in my booth, I got to thinking about how isolated I really was during my marriage.   I rarely got out to socialize the past 30 years, and somewhere along the way I lost my drive for that "who's who" thing... I used to be the kind of person who was into fashion, etc.... now I just dress for comfort, which is now not the greatest thing to wear, lol (one of my friends "gently" tells me every week that I should replace something in my wardrobe)... and I'm not even sure if I still have my socializing skills anymore for the "who's who", lol....
And even the setting up for the event was a lesson.   On one side was the corn dog booth... nothing like the guy and gal, burning cigarettes dangling from their mouths as they mixed up the batter (OVER the batter), to make you lose your appetite.... and on the other side was a weight loss solution booth, lol.   The lady running that booth picked out EVERY person she thought was fat, practically hunted them down (me included), tried convincing us that we "NEEDED" her weight loss products.   She said she was using it, lost 20 inches in a month (yeah right), and that it controlled appetite (as she started searching for a taco stand, lol).   Ok, it was fun!  LOL.
So then yesterday, I went for that hike - 3/4 of a mile up 1000 feet to "Buzzard's Roost" which is one of THE BEST views of the canyon and all it's Fall colors.   Except we had a storm go through and it blew down most of the leaves.   But it was still a nice hike - deer practically walked up to me... and I burned 857 calories in just 50 minutes (that's how steep it was).
And during this hike I got to thinking about winter coming, the isolation it brings, and where I am physically and emotionally right now.... 
The weight loss lady was right you know... I definitely have an eating disorder.  In just 3 days, I gained 4 pounds.  Except it's not appetite.   It's just being too tired during the afternoon, eating to stay awake.  I've got some changes to make, and it would be best if I did them alone, without distractions.  And what better time to start than when winter comes...
And winter is coming - tomorrow is the last day for 80 degree temps and then it drops to a high all next week of 58.  I pulled out one of my two air conditioners yesterday as I put up my Halloween decorations.   And I'm beginning now... My schedule is clear this week for the first time all year, which means I'm free to get caught up on sleep, resume my total exercise program, and start letting my creative side come out - on myself, my eating, and my crafts for next year's Harvest Fest.  I've got ALOT of work to do...  Yep, EXACTLY where I need to be.  LATER!