Everything is not fine

So I woke up early today, it was a mistake one that just reminded me of why I try to sleep as much as is humanly possible. Sleeping is the best way to pass the time here; with no internet, no one to talk to, the inability to leave or go outside or see the sun. Bahh I was never big on sunlight I've always been more of a moon person I think.
The moon she's beautiful; her beauty has always fascinated me ever since I was little, we used to be told stories of how there lives a woman on the moon with a spinning wheel, where she spins dreams for children. I always did enjoy staring at the moon, losing myself in a world of fantasy and dreams a world without sorrow a world where I had power over my fate and my life but then again thats just me I always did have a penchant for wanting to run away from reality.
Reality however is a mean mistress no matter how hard or how far away you try to run from her she always catches up with you and she tends to exact her toll with interest. I've spent a huge part of my life running or plotting of running from my family. Its not necessarily that I hate them or have a dislike of them of some kinds, it more so the fact that I understand that I am different. Getting along with them is an ordeal for me and even with painstaking efforts I do but a lousy job of it. The worst part is I can hear my biological clock ticking I know I don't have very long to live and each day I spend locked up with them is a day lost from the rest of my life, a day less than what little time I have left to accomplish my goals.
We have unfortunately devolved to a point where we needlessly antagonize each other, all the while keeping up appearances, with white lies, pretending like are a normal family pretending we care, pretending like everything is fine when really its not. Everything is not fine we are and have been at an impasse for many years, my parents realize I'm not nor will I ever be the son they hoped for but yet insist I play the part and I have over the years just gotten tired of acting, of pretending to be someone something I am not.
We live under the same roof but we might as well be living on separate continents, it really would make no difference. The house is divided into two parts theirs and mine; I live in my corner of the house with my computer, my semi functional internet and my two cats, while my parents live on their side of the house. I seldom leave my room except for dinner, the only real meal I have everyday, even at dinner I quietly eat my food and leave to return back to my room. They never venture into my room and I never leave it, we do still have the decency to exchange pleasantries; a hi, a hello, a few words on politics but I've come to understand that were I not to make the effort even those would die out.
My father lies to me blatantly about letting me leave soon, we both know that's not true. We both know he intends to keep me as long as he possibly can, just like we both know it wells within his power to get me a steady internet connection.
These white lies have become sort of a norm in our house... did you sneak out last night? no. did you try to bribe the driver to buy you cigarettes? no. When can I leave? soon. Can I go visit my cousin? sure. May I go use the neighbors internet? sure. Ahhh the beauty of white lies, I remember reading once a comic wrote "when the liar and the one being lied to both know that the liar is in fact lying the lying no longer remains a sin". In that case I guess we arnt sinners after all we all know each others true intentions, with our thinly veiled sarcastic jabs and each other, the cold death stares to which we have all now become immune, the putting up a front in public, the saving graces its all fine. everything is fine there is nothing wrong here, nothing to see, nothing to talk about, nothing to discuss and definitely nothing to fix.
No not really.... everything is not fine